I found that, when I came out of hospital I had millions of tablets to take but they all seemed to be working so I’m looking on it as a blessing rather than a curse, having to take all these tablets. And again, afterwards, after the stroke and after I was leading a semi-normal life, I went back to the doctor’s for my usual checkups, blood pressure, heart and everything. And again he said, Well, it’s a bit high I said, What is it And he told me that, the reading, and I said, But surely that’s what it was like before I had my stroke And he said, Yes, well we would like it a bit lower So I said to him, Well am I on the right medication So he said, Oh, let’s have a look And he looked at his computer screen and he says, I think I’ll double this one And he doubled one of the tablets to double the strength and after that my blood pressure went down to normal. But it make me wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t said to him, Am I on the right medication

I’m quite determined that for instance if my mother said, No you can’t do that So I’d say, Well when can I, when do you think I will be able to And she’d give me reasons and the whyfores and the wherefores. And I’d, that would allow me then to not feel the restraints of the exclusion for whatever it was that I wanted to do. And I always came in on time when she said be in by nine or ten, I’d always came in by nine or ten. And so I felt that this was kind of good training for okay so I can’t do this now. I can’t walk now but I’m going to do it. So how long will it take Well I don’t know but I’m going to do a little bit today. Maybe I’ll just move one step today. Or maybe I’ll walk to the end of the bed today holding on. And then I could do that. So then I thought, right I’d better go and sit down again because I felt pretty wobbly. [laughs] So I’d walk back to the bed and because of the iron railings on the bed I could use my good arm to hoist myself back into bed.

don’t try and think you’re going to do it all at once and run a marathon. Make, set yourself small goals. Think okay I can walk to the kitchen. Then you have to go and sit down again. Okay maybe a couple days later you’re feeling good so you think okay I’m going to walk to the kitchen and put some china away. And you don’t drop that. So you think that’s good I managed to do that without dropping it. So then I have to go and sit down again. And then it went on so ok I think I might be able to put the laundry in the, machine today. So I held on or wedged myself up against the wall you know with my funny arm. And put the laundry in with my right arm. And did a little bit by that and gradually… take nibbles not big bites at life.

When I was leaving hospital they said, You can go home but you can’t have any physio for two weeks So I said, Fine, I’ll go without it for two weeks, I’ll try and make something up So that, that was two weeks out of the three months which are most important to your…

Recovery?

…recovery. There’s a short time where you get the maximum gain in your recovery. So that was two weeks of mine gone, apart from the time I was in hospital. That was two weeks of my time gone without a physio.

So after your hospital discharge a couple weeks went by where you didn’t have any?

No, they warned me I wouldn’t (not enough people)

Oh, OK.

But I said to the girl that was going to come, Can you not liaise with the hospital and give me (or) send me a form with exercises on And she said, No, I can’t do that without seeing you So I said, But I should (not)be wasting time, could you not speak to the physio in the hospital. He knows what I’ve been doing, he knows what I can and can’t do. Could you not speak to him and then send me something you think is relevant in an envelope No, I can’t I need to see you So I said, But I’ve been wasting time. You must be able to think of something that won’t, you know, won’t do damage that I can get on with, while you’re dealing with whatever it is you’ve got to deal withNo, I’m sorry we’ve got to see you that’s the rule I was very annoyed at that. And then I found she came once or twice. And then I got a phone call to say, Sorry I can’t come there’s somebody that needs me more than you So I could quite believe that. I thought what a shame that’s more time wasted. And then she said she was going on holiday for fortnight but she’d arranged cover for me. And nobody came, nobody phoned. Then the next week went by and nobody came, nobody phoned. And then went on for another few days and nobody phoned. So I phoned them and said, What’s going on And of course there was an apology. They don’t know what went wrong but they should’ve sent somebody while she was on holiday. So that was more time in my physio that I didn’t get (help) (from) her.

But, in a very short space of time I had pins and needles going up my left side. Pins and needles in my head and realised that there was something quite serious going on. And worked out that as I didn’t have a pain anywhere. Didn’t have any pain at all, I wasn’t sweating or anything like that. I felt perfectly normal except I had a lot of pins and needles in my head and down my left side and a little bit on my right side. So I thought, Well, I’m probably having a stroke So I thought I’d better get blood to my head and laid down in this chair that switches (to) a recliner. And my face had started to go a bit numb on the left so I had to quite a job calling my husband (even though) he was just in the next room. So I was calling out, [Husband’s name, husband’s name] Stroke, ambulance And he said, Speak up I can’t hear you So I thought this was rather funny and he was still in the other room. So I kept (calling) [Husband’s name] ambulance, stroke And he said, Why do you always wait until I’m in the other room before you call me to do something So I thought, this is not good and yelled at the top of my voice as (best) I could, [Husband’s name] come here And then managed to say, I’m having a stroke, call the ambulance Still stayed horizontal in the armchair and I could feel the pins and needles creeping up heavily on the left side, and to a lesser extent on the right side. No other symptoms whatsoever. My mind was as clear as it ever is. It was purely the pins and needles which I guess meant that the blood wasn’t getting to my brain somehow. It was very similar to when you sit with your legs in a cramped (position) and you don’t move them for a long, long time. And then when you go to move your legs again, they hurt because the blood, wasn’t getting through properly. And they hurt until the blood’s circulating again. That was the nearest likeness I can tell you of what it felt like. It was less on my right side and quite strong on my left side.

And the ambulance couldn’t find us which was quite distressing. Although my husband was on the phone to the 999 person trying to direct them. And then because we’re only half a mile from the doctor’s surgery I thought perhaps I better get him to take me there in the hope that somebody was at the doctor’s surgery. So, I had a little bit of strength left. I had enough strength to either go to the bathroom, which I wanted to do, or get to the front door. And I propped myself up on the wall in the hall and made my way to the front door and called [Husband’s name] to take me to the doctor’s. And the ambulance and the doctor turned up at the same time just as I got to the front door. And I thought, Oh I, I can’t stand up anymore I’d better sit on a step. But because I’ve got arthritic knees I couldn’t sit on the step, my knees wouldn’t bend and I started falling backwards. And I realised I was going to go through my plate glass door so I put my left arm down to deflect myself away from the glass. And I was going quite numb by then, so I didn’t really know I’d hurt it at that stage. I landed on it, it was tucked under me. I landed on it.

And the ambulance crew got me on the ambulance, on the stretcher from there and took me to hospital. But, I could talk in a peculiar way, with one side not working, enough to say my name and answer various other questions.

I had a chart on the wall that said like one, two, three, four, five, six, stages that I had to achieve before I could go home so that was a good landmark. It was like feeding unaided, walking unaided, things like that. I don’t know which order they were in or whatever. It also said that if I fell out of bed they had to have a hoist to lift me. And I’m afraid I still have a weight problem. But going down this list really (helped) and yes I can do that, yes I can do that. That was good, that list on the wall. I don’t think it was meant for me, I think it was meant for the nurses. So having little markers to achieve helped.

Then I think on, I think it was a Friday, I said to my husband. [Husband’s name], I’ve got to get out of here. I, Please get me some physio. I don’t care how much you have to pay privately and if the health service can give it to me fine. I have got to get some physio. I have got to get out of here And being the sweetheart he is, he went to speak to the staff nurse. And he pulled a few stings and got a physio out there and with a helper that afternoon. I don’t know how I got out of bed. I just had no energy at all. [laughs] But they helped me to sit on a chair. Literally sat down a couple of minutes talking to me. I think I might’ve moved a couple of steps. And I said, I’m sorry I’ve got to get back to bed now I was so weak. But they said they’d come again the next day. And they brought a Zimmer frame the next day. I thought, Oh what, how hilarious you know tell my friends I’m on a Zimmer frame at my age [Laughs]. But I couldn’t use it because one arm was completely lifeless and you need to hold Zimmer frame with two hands. And therefore I couldn’t use it. So I had a person each side of me and they moved me six steps in a circle, sat me in a chair again. And I sat there for fifteen minutes the second day. And I said Please can you put me back to bed which they did. And all during this time believe it or not, because I’ve got bad knees and I was told to build the muscles up in my legs. I’d been doing leg exercises, raising my legs, even though I was in bed with a stroke, I’d been pulling my nightie and doing this. Doing the leg exercise with my one good hand and doing both legs like that to try and make sure that my knees didn’t seize up from the arthritis. And the staff nurse had seen me doing this and seen me trying to help myself and so he fast tracked me to rehab.

And the ambulance couldn’t find us which was quite distressing. Although my husband was on the phone to the 999 person trying to direct them. And then because we’re only half a mile from the doctor’s surgery I thought perhaps I better get him to take me there in the hope that somebody was at the doctor’s surgery. So, I had a little bit of strength left. I had enough strength to either go to the bathroom, which I wanted to do, or get to the front door. And I propped myself up on the wall in the hall and made my way to the front door and called [husband’s name] to take me to the doctor’s. And the ambulance and the doctor turned up at the same time just as I got to the front door. And I thought, Oh I can’t stand up anymore I’d better sit on a step. But because I’ve got arthritic knees I couldn’t sit on the step, my knees wouldn’t bend and I started falling backwards. And I realised I was going to go through my plate glass door so I put my left arm down to deflect myself away from the glass. And I was going quite numb by then, so I didn’t really know I’d hurt it at that stage. I landed on it, it was tucked under me. I landed on it.

When I fell I wasn’t aware that I’d hurt myself. I remember that, I’d landed on my arm. My left arm was under me when the ambulance people got there. But it didn’t hurt at that stage because my left side was quite numb. The nurses couldn’t understand why I kept saying, It hurts, why does it hurt? I’ve only had a stroke I haven’t had a car accident. It ought to be numb why does it hurt so much And they kept saying, You’ve had a stroke what do you expect So I said, Well that’s just it, I haven’t been in an accident, why does it hurt so much? My leg doesn’t hurt. Why does it, you know, why does it hurt And all I ever got was you’ve been, you’ve had a stroke what do you expect I, in the end, by the time I got home, I’d told (some) doctors, all the nurses and nobody looked into it. I ended up, I found out later after I got home and went for an x-ray that I’d had a fractured wrist and that it’d healed itself.