So every donor’s assessed on an individual basis and we would only take organs that you are suitable for, but potentially you could donate heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small bowel, eyes, heart valves, skin, bone, tendons, meniscus.

There’s lots and lots of things. And again, by making your decision known, you can choose those things in advance. Otherwise, we’d assume that you have no objection to anything. There’s so many people can benefit from tissue donation.

No, like, like I said at the time, I can’t remember how long after my mum died in the September, so it would’ve been, it would’ve been 20, 22 then, into 22.

We received a letter, saying that, oh no, it wasn’t too long after actually saying, they, they’d manage to,

I think it was a phone conversation, that they, they were able to, she was able to donate and, to people.

I should have got the letter out before, I have got it somewhere.

I just, I didn’t even think, but yeah, two, two males, two males, did receive, did receive.

So we got like a little letter, obviously didn’t go into names and stuff, and, um, got like a little, um, donation little, like, badge and stuff.

It was quite nice, really. But like I said before, it’s kind, it kinda like, I felt like my mom would’ve been proud.

We, we obviously was happy and proud that, you know, it just just feels nice that you hear that she was able to donate and two people got it and it’s, it’s helped our lives, which is like the little icing on the cake ’cause as the saying goes.

Yeah. And then I did hear back saying, uh, there was like, did he do a, an award string, a yearly?

There was like an award string Yeah. If we wanted to go. But I think, I think if it was now, yeah, I could, but, I don’t think I could have done, would’ve been a little bit too emotional where, you know, emotionals being fine and that, and, but yeah, it was just, it would’ve been a bit, a bit too soon.

It is the biggest gift anybody can give. You know, every day, three people die because they don’t get a transplant.

And it’s the greatest gift to save somebody’s life. And I think we’re all generally good Samaritans. If we see somebody’s gonna get injured or there’s gonna be an accident, and we can intervene and, and we can prevent that happening.

That feeling of elation and that you’ve made a difference and saved somebody in any situation is massive.

And once you’ve died, if you can then prevent that death and that family suffering the same way that yours has to suffer, that’s a massive, massive comfort to families and to people on the waiting list.

It means so much that the people are out there wanting to help them and save them and give them more time with their family, and build more memories and do more things and live a really happy and healthy life.

Our life.

And she helped to be fair.

She’s, she was very good, you know what I mean?

She’d go in and got like, and she made the effort.

And I think she was the one who probably pushed for like, his eyes to be done.

So, we all then felt like something good had come of it. Because I think they get more eye tissue and all that than what they do organs.

Because we got like a little badge in then. This certificate.

She just sorted all that out, all that I wouldn’t have known.

Do you know what I mean? And she was all like, I’m sorry you haven’t got this.

It was like people were supposed to get it.

I didn’t, I didn’t know up.

Wouldn’t have chased it up anyway, do you know what I mean?

But yeah, it was nice because it was some kind of recognition, like it wasn’t all for nothing.

Do you know what I mean?

And, you know, going to the, the service. Well, I didn’t go to the service afterwards for the St. John’s thing. I decided that was too soon. It was only about four months after. And I didn’t want to cope with that. I was doing really well and I didn’t want to be upset. What was the point? You know?

But then later on they arranged this, this get together for receiving the St. John’s medal for those that are given body organs. And I did go to that and initially it was a bit upsetting.

I remember feeling a bit choked up and thinking, I went to the ladies and I stood front of the mirror and I thought, come on, pull yourself together, girl. You’ve got your best dress on. It’s a beautiful day. It’s sunshine. And they’ve got a fantastic spread on for a buffet. We didn’t know we were gonna be fed.

And in many parts, it was funny, we had a man, he was, I think he was the head of St. John’s in the northwest. He was an elderly man, and he talked to us about, you know, how wonderful this gift was that she’d given and, uh, all the other people and everything. And I can’t remember the song now. There’s a, a song, a very emotional, romantic song. And he started talking the words. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

And we had another family on our table. There were three daughters, and mom and their father had died. And the daughters were all in, uh, the best clubbing gear, skin tight, body con dresses, stiletto heels, all the makeup, the hair, you know, it was hilarious.

And there was free drink. So they were backwards and forwards, getting gases of champagne saying to me, do you want another one? I said, I’m alright, thank you. He said, oh, it’s free. It’s free. Come on. Oh God. It was so funny.

When this man starts speak the words to this song, it all seemed so inappropriate. And I caught the eye of one of these girls sat to cross from me. Oh. With tears rolling down her face for all the wrong reasons, you know?

So, yeah. And then as, as hilarious as that was, the next time they would cut, they came round to then give out the medals. So they were calling out the name Susan Parker. Yeah, that’s me. So they’d come to our table and they’d, they’d give me this and shook me hand and gave me a certificate and everything. So they’d going round and it’s like Mary Smith, and this little, little man would stand up and he’d all be on his own. And I thought, oh, bless him. And then it was like Joan Brown and another little, there were three little old men, they strict to stand. They Must have been in their eighties, man, I’m in the seventies, but they look like old men.

And it just seemed heartbreaking for them, even though their wives were obviously elderly and had reached the end of their life. The fact that Susan reached the end of hers at 44 should have been more tragic. But somehow it didn’t seem that way.

And I, I think we all went a bit quiet when these old men stood up all on their own. Where, where were the families? Why had they not come? You know, it was, it was a bit sad then. But on the whole, the whole experience I found memorable in all the right ways. So.

He donated his, he donated his kidneys and I did get a letter through saying that he’d, there’d been two people had benefited from it. And that, and these people have been on dialysis for quite a long time.

So, yeah, that, it was, it was good to know that as much as the sadness of losing, losing him, that, you know, it is nice to know that somebody, you know, has, you know, benefited from it and it’s, you know, it’s like living on through him really. So yeah. And I think that, I think from memory that they, took his corners as well.

So yeah, that’s kind of the story of that donation.

I’m trying to think how I, it felt really, it felt a bit like, it was like, I don’t want this to sound like I’m being uncaring or anything, but it was like, ‘oh, good we’ve got an organ donor’. And it was like, but, and I know, and I know that that’s really important. I know for people who are really poorly and everything, I totally understand that. But I thought, no, that’s my, you know, that’s my Gareth and, and yeah. And I just thought, you’ve not actually told me that he’s died yet.

And I’m having a conversation about him and they were saying, oh, would you like, oh, they brought in this blanket, which I thought was really weird, like this purple blanket. Like he’d got like this medal, you know? And, and I was like, oh, could you want put this blanket on him? I thought, well, no, he would’ve hated that. He would have hated it. But that was just, and I thought, oh, does this mean like he’s special because I don’t know, I’m not being awful about, I know that’s for somebody. It’s like totally life changing, but when it’s your loved one and the, you know, and you, I think, well, yeah, I just, in hindsight, I just wish there had that more time to, to process it all really. And you know, I just felt, ’cause we’re in shock. I just, I did just go along with it, but I knew, I knew,

But that it did help a little bit with Gareth and I having a conversation. So, but I, I just think I’ve said, look, I feel like I don’t know if I’ve come across pro alright. Or not, or I’ve answered Yeah. I thought, yeah, it was like he was, I dunno, special, which he was special to me anyway and to the family, so, but I don’t think we needed a blanket to confirm that. So yeah.

If, if somebody sounds, if somebody famous died or somebody famous was on life support and, and their family went on and said, we are donating a bit like any, you know, like sort of the king going on about these prostate cancer and, and how there was an upsurge in people taking up the test and that would, that would happen.

I think, I think high Profile people, I, I don’t think it even necessarily needs to be high profile people.

I think it, I think you need to hear the stories of the people who’ve received organs.

Absolutely. Yeah. I think so. I have an ex-colleague who daughter unfortunately died a year or so ago and she was only 18 and they were able to donate her organs and they donated her womb.

And if the lady who has received her womb is able to carry a child to, I think it’s 35 weeks or more, and then, you know, to full term, they get notified and they will get notified that their daughter’s womb has carried somebody else’s child.

And I think it, it’s things like that. It’s, it’s, it’s making it, it’s making it real and it’s, and it’s putting those stories in your mind.

So as sad as it is, as awful as it is, as distressing and traumatic as it is, if, if you’ve just seen one person that says, I was able to watch my son graduate because someone donated his heart.

I was able to walk my daughter down the aisle because I’ve got somebody’s lungs.

I was able to have a baby because somebody was brave enough and wonderful enough to donate their daughter’s womb to me.

Like they’re, they’re the stories, you know? I agree.

Like they’re, they’re the stories that, that make you go, we would want that if it, if the shoe was on the other foot, we would want the heart, we would want the womb, we would want the, the lungs.

So I think the, the thing that gets you and the thing that always encourages people is the humanity in it.

It’s the, it’s the real life stories.

So hearing our story of being a family who wanted to donate organs and went through that process is one thing, but it’s still harrowing.

It’s still really sad.

I think you need the joy and the hope of the people who’ve received the organs Yeah.

In order to encourage people to do it. Yeah.

I think, I think that above all else makes you go, oh, okay, maybe we can, and you might not donate all our organs, but if you donate one or two or, or whatever it is, or if it just starts those conversations, oh, I saw this, you know, make a TikTok, make a, I dunno, these, the kids don make a dance.

I dunno. But I think, I think making, making it human, because it, that’s what it’s about.

It’s about people living. Yeah.

And We in a fortunate position with Tom to be able to do that.

So when, when Anna’s gift to Tom worked and cured him and gave him life, basically, we were able to publicize that in, in the local press and, and we were interviewed and, uh, you know, it, so we’ve seen the other side of it, if you like.

And to be able to do that, who knows what impact it’s had.

But certainly the British Leukemia Fund or whatever it’s called at the time, I think it’s changed, its, its title now.

You know, they came and talked to us and presumably they publicized it as well

Then. But like our, our three cousins because obviously we can’t donate bone marrow to other people that aren’t family because it creates dodgy blood.

But our three cousins then put themselves on the anti

Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Register, and two of them have kind of been called to and kind of got you, like got down, got down to the final two when it comes to, to donating.

So like that’s just three people that we know and two outta three of them have, you know, have, have kind of, have got quite close to, to being in a situation where they might donate.

So it is, it’s that, it’s it’s word of mouth, it’s people, of put in put in the faces Yeah.

To the need, I think. Because it’s really easy to forget it and not discuss it.

And it only takes an advert, you know, on during, gonna age myself.

Now the X factor on a Saturday, you know, like, but, but if you’re all sat round, if you’re all watching it and an advert comes on with a beautiful little girl who’s received a heart or a family that have been able to, you know,nto stay together because somebody’s got a, got a new liver and then it starts that conversation and everybody sits around and goes, oh, I donate my organs.

Oh, I donate my organs. And you’ve had that conversation and then God forbid, you then end up being that family like us sat in ICU, you go, well actually, do you remember she was really passionate about doing that?

And yes, okay, it might not go the whole, you know, the whole way, but the discussion started by, you know, by people connecting with people.

But the other, we got, we got some gold hearts for our troubles.

Oh yeah, we did. We still got them. Even though we didn’t, even though we couldn’t, we got the gold hearts.

Yeah. Yeah. That, that was nice.

We that I think that that got to us all didn’t it when we got those and not, I don’t wanna put Tom on the spot, but as put him on the, do it. Well that’s fine. As somebody who, who has been the recipient of a transplant, you know, there, there’s an opportunity, you know, to to, to say what difference it’s made to him,

You Know? Yeah. Come on, Tom.

Speak up

Years ago. Yeah.

Yeah. But you wouldn’t have asked that 22 years have you not having a transplant, so. Yeah.

But yeah, it’s obviously prolonged my life a bit longer than it should have been, so That’s fine. I, yeah.

Hopefully a lot longer. Well,

Yeah, a lot.

So, but I, yeah, I’ve normally had much to sell it really?

Because with, with the leukemia, I’m sure it’s not unique to Tom that transplant is a last resort.

The medication had been tried, which is, you know, normally for whatever percentage of people does the trick.

And then something else was tried and it got to the stage where unless we can find a bone marrow donor, then it’s not looking too help. Hopeful.

Not too far though. But the difference, the difference so far, the difference, the difference is with bone marrow and now it’s a stem, it’s a stem cell transplant, not so they don’t have to do the horrible drilling into your hips and getting the bone marrow out and all that is that you are living and the person who is donating continues to live.

So it’s a slightly different concept than seeing somebody in ICU that is going to donate their organs and not come out of it because the person who’s donated walks away.

Yeah. So it’s a little bit of a different concept. Yeah.

But principle, it starts and it starts a conversation, doesn’t it? Yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely.