I’d say I am, just because as I said, like I do gym and running. I can run ultra-marathons so I have to put myself at that kind of mindset, and that can get really hard, but then it’s going to get a bit better, and then it’ll be the end and I’ll be so relieved. So perhaps everything I’ve done before, and like, starting my own business from scratch, I’ve obviously had a lot of ups and downs so, well maybe if anything, maybe I’ve been too distracted to be concentrating on my burns because I’ve had all these other goals.

Like, in one way, I can’t wait to get married and to be holding a bouquet with my burn on my arm because that’s part of me and I want to have photographs with me looking at my right side so you can see my burn, like … and that’s probably one of the strangest things but that’s me. That’s part of me and that’s one of my experiences and it’s made me confident, I guess.

I’m now like “Oh, it’s just part of me now and it is part of me and it’s one thing that makes me beautiful and it makes me stand out from others” and even though sometimes I think it’s the most ugliest thing in the world, but then it’s not, like, there is a lot worse things, like I could be well, you know, there’s a lot of worse diseases out there and, at the end of the day, can I walk? Yes! Can I breathe? Yes. Am I able to carry on doing what I wanted? Yes. Life’s fantastic then. It’s like “Don’t worry about it”.

Because I think if it’s just a different pattern on your skin, well then why can’t you make it feel nice? Why can’t you grow to like it? Like, why can’t you accept it and make it part of you? Like mine’s an odd shape.

I didn’t want those thoughts to go through my head every day. I didn’t want to second-guess what I was going to wear and what I was going to do, so if I just accepted it, which is hard, I understand that and just let it be part of me, then it’s ok, it’s going to carry on and we’ll be fine. You don’t want it to take your life, thought, do you really? Like, yes it was a traumatic experience but, at the end of the day, that experience has been done now, so I need to move forward and yeah, see what happens. This is me and my new scar!

At the end of the day, if I’m ok with this massive red-, because at the time it was huge wasn’t like, it was a very red thing on my arm. If I’m ok with that then everyone else is going to be. I shouldn’t be apologetic about what’s on your body. And I think lots of people have tattoos, don’t they? And some tattoos are quite offensive, so if someone finds my very red burn offensive well, that’s up to them, then, isn’t it?

What was the impact on being self-employed and not being able to work?

I suppose I’ve always had savings. I don’t really know, I can’t really answer that question, because as soon as I came back, I just worked really hard and then just met deadlines, I guess.

Did it add stress to an already stressful situation?

Yeah. I allowed myself to breathe and realised that, you know, work is work at the end of the day. Your wellbeing is far more important and also your mindset’s far more important than getting stressed out about it.

There is more to life than work. And I know some people were like “Oh, well, you need money to enable you to do things.” Yes, you do need money but at the time, if you’re not going to look after your health who else is? Money can’t look after your health.

I can understand that.

Maybe I was very fortunate that I was self-employed, and I didn’t have the stress of knowing that I didn’t have to go back to work with a massive workload of a business that had carried on working whilst I was recovering. So, I was probably very fortunate.

There wasn’t a financial impact on you because of the burn?

At that time, I was very lucky, I was living in the annexe and the rent for my studio is not a lot, so it was ok, I didn’t have a lot of outgoings.

I allowed myself to breathe and realised that, you know, work is work at the end of the day. Your wellbeing is far more important and also your mindset’s far more important than getting stressed out about it. There is more to life than work. And I know some people were like ‘Oh, well, you need money to enable you to do things.’ Yes, you do need money but at the time-. If you’re not going to look after your health who else is? Money can’t look after your health.

Out of all my experience the Burn Unit was the most relaxing place I’ve been. Like, I don’t really go on holidays and the fact that it’s such a beautiful hospital as well, I felt like I was in a hotel. I’m not one for napping, I never stop, so the experience was really good because I’m self-employed I’m always like “I have to keep working, I have to keep working, I have to keep working”, because I had basically two weeks and that last week I couldn’t like, I was just in hospital, like couldn’t do any work, made me realise that there’s more to life. That I could just breathe. And the people were really caring, and I was in my own room.

My hospital experience was really positive. The nurses were all really kind and I was lucky because my parents could come and visit me and they could come and sit because I had my own room, they could just come and sit with me, and the hospital was a really nice environment. Like, it had a really nice like garden that was very tranquil and relaxing, and then I do remember feeling very tired, so I’d just nap a lot. I’m not one to watch TV so, like, the TV was never really on, so I think the nurses sometimes would find it a bit strange that they’d come in my room and there was no sound. But yeah, and it was quite lucky as well, the fact that I could just put my arm in a sling and go down and get a coffee or hot chocolate.

That evening I just went for a walk and started to feel funny again. I wasn’t feeling very well, went home and elevated my arm again. Following day, I called in as soon as the doctor’s surgery were open, because I realised that my redness had started to go up around my elbow.

Yeah, the redness was spreading. So, I went straight to the doctors in a lot of pain. I can remember, I was like “Oh, I’ll drive myself”, trying to turn the steering wheel. Just trying to move my arm really hurt. They took photographs of it. They sent it to a consultant, I think. I got told that I should go to A&E. So, I waited, gradually saw a nurse, who then organised me to have a consultation with someone the next day at 12. The next day when I got into the Burns Unit, I had to have it cleaned, which was the most painful thing I think I’ve done. I was on gas and air, really trying not to cry. Then, because of all that green stuff, it basically looked like it had gone off. Yeah, it wasn’t very nice. And yeah and the doctor came in and was like “Oh, I think we’re going to have to admit you to hospital because your infection is spreading up your arm.”

First time I’ve ever stayed overnight at a hospital and, yeah, I was put straightaway onto antibiotics through my vein and my arm basically got put into a sling. Whenever I sat down, when I was asleep, my arm was trying to drain all the fluid out of it and all the infection out.