I get loads of people giving me advice, a lot of the time it’s almost the same thing. “Have you tried this cream, have you tried that cream?” “I’m going to get this cream for you and you can try it,” and none of it works. So, almost I don’t know if I would give advice; I’d probably want to knowI’d want to know about what, like how, like if they have eczema like me, I’d want, “Oh what clothes do you wear, like what bedding do you have, have often do you drink a day, how long do you bath, what baths do you put in your bath; is there any products, like scented products, that you use that won’t irritate your skin?” You know I want to know things so that I could probably like, “Do you know any jewellery I could wear that might actually, you know won’t irritate your skin?” You know things like that.

It doesn’t bother me that much here cos everyone knows I have it, I just tell em and they go, “OK,” you know, and they just sort ofno-oneit’s so normal to people now. When you say, “I’ve got eczema, I’ve got psoriasis.” People go, “Oh,” you know, it’s not like they go, “[intake of breath] You have a skin issue?” You know it’s noteven customers they don’t really bother, they don’t reallyI used to be worried about them looking at it, but I told my friend and said, “Oh my god is that?” She said, “No not really, not from afar,” but they don’t know you personally; that could just be a burn or something you’ve had and they’re notit’s none of their business anyway. So, I wouldn’t say it would bother me. It was only if I was to work with food which would be an issue. Like I thought of going into like bartending; I’ve always loved to like work in a club or something; not in the food but around. Maybe it’s fine around drinks if I’m pouring drinks for people, cos I love working around people, don’t want to be sat in an office cooched up doing nothing you know, typing away, which is what I technically do but, here it’s more peopley you know you’ve got people coming in.

I reckon doctors and GPs shouldI mean a lot of them are very understanding, but they tell you the same thing; I want to hear something different that isn’t going to be, “Oh I’ll just give you thesethis cream,” and it’s like, well I don’t need anything from that, it’s just me paying for more stuff, like it probably won’t even work. They should do like trials and they give you like a free sample and try it for like a week I reckon.

I’ve only ever had those suicidal thoughts only a few times. But I remember at the time I knew I’d never do it, but it’s just something, and you think, ‘Mm could I?’ and I thought, ‘No don’t be so stupid, you know you can sort your life out,’ you know, ‘get yourself, you know get some, you know’ I’ve got tremendous help here so, I know for a fact they’re not going to make me suffer.

If you are feeling suicidal, you know or you’re feeling low, really low, tell somebody. Like I got the courage to tell my mum that I had, I might have anxiety. I wentI had a depression when I was thirteen so that doesn’t help. But that’s over now. But I think out of that I’ve got anxiety problems so, now everyonenow wherever a job I get next or, even if I make a new friend, I tell them.

Yeah

So that they can understand I’m not going toI’m not saying I’m suicidal because I want attention, it’s cos it’s generally you think that. I mean I’ve neverI would never, ever have the guts to do it, I don’t know how people can do it, it’s soit frightens me to think about it. But when you’re in that time and place, when you’re sat there itching or you’re thinking aboutyou’re relapsing back your life going, ‘My life’s been crap with this skin, I haven’t been able to have fun, haven’t been able to do this. That’s when you just think, ‘Uh, if I just ended it now would it be over?’ and then, at that time youlike my mind just sort of flips and thinks, ‘Hang on, look at the positives, you’re life aint all negative. You’ve still got all your family there’s people out there that haven’t got parents you know – don’t be moaning about your skin, you know it will go away. If you take care of it, it will either clear up a bit or could completely go away.

Well, as a kid emotionally mm, you’d feel notwell as a kid you didn’t feel normal, you didn’t know it was normal. I was the only person in my class that had eczema, so people really didn’t understand it. And I used to be teased for it as well cos I was different.

And I was alsoI was also, I thinkno I wasn’t, there was another person, but there was only two people that were my skin tone as well back then. So, I was bullied for my hair, my skin, everything and itand as a kid, you know you don’t feelI never had that much friends, that’s why that friend I’ve known for thirteen years was the only one I had during that time. So, yeah that, as a kid, I can’t really say cos you don’tyou’re just a child, you don’t understand feelings that well, you just sort of know, you know you feel sad. I remember refusing to go to school cos I didn’t want people to stare at me and stuff like that. So, it would get quite psychological.

It’s been hard, it’s not easy; really isn’t easy to have eczema cos it’s a mixture of being physically in pain and emotionally in pain you know? You could have it severely and it not bother you in the, that much; you could have it a teeny bit and it completely destroy the way you think, the waylike your life, you might not want to leave the house cos you might have a massive scar on your face cos you’ve had eczema there or something you know. I justI reckon doctors and GPs shouldI mean a lot of them are very understanding, but they tell you the same thing; I want to hear something different that isn’t going to be, “Oh I’ll just give you thesethis cream,” and it’s like, well I don’t need anything from that, it’s just me paying for more stuff, like it probably won’t even work. They should do like trials and they give you like a free sample and try it for like a week I reckon. Cos that would bethat might be more successful than giving them medication that would flare it up without them.

Yeah, so and I’ve hadI’ve had many infections as well. I had impetigo.

OK

Whichthat was only when I was a kid, only had it twice, cos my brother got it and he touched me and then I had it [laughs], that was odd. But yeah that was when it was really bad because, you know it’s like an infection, so you have to like stay at home, you can’t go out cos if someone touches you; touch their own skin, it will spread. So, yeah that wasthat was quiteI remember that being painful and crying a lot when I was a kid.

But I don’t know if it was linked though. Cos I know a lot of people haveyou know if they have eczema, they most likely will have asthma as well, or if they’ve asthma they’ve got a bit of eczema. Like my brother has severe asthma and he only gets patches of eczema, only like yearly. So, I think it isI think it must be linked.

Yeah

Is it similar, like triggers that you said about pollen and flowers?

Yeah

Is it mm?

Going outside [laughs] makes me go, “No, can’t breathe, go inside.” You know, walking andand now it’s really weird my asthma is bad in the winter, it’s very bad, a verywhen I recently went to my GP, well the nurse, my nurse practitioner, she was like, “You have to go and see the asthma nurse.” I haven’t done it yet, that’s really bad, cos she feltshe heard my chest, said, “That’s really, really, you know very inflamed, you should sort it out.” And I said, “Oh it’s cos it’s the weather.” When it gets warmer my asthma’s fine, though my eczema it’s never fair on me that, you know. Uh times like Spring isn’t too bad because it’s a mixture, you don’t have weeks of hotness or weeks of freezing temperatures you know. So, it is a nightmare cos you can’t win.

Except, when it rains and I’m wearing dolly shoes it’sthat’s the bad thing about not wearing socks cos I have like sores on my ankles, so when it rains, that rainwater stings, it absolutely kills, and that’s the onlyrainwater does sting. And I remember, I thought I was allergic to it once, cos when I went out and I didn’t put my hands in my pockets my coat didn’t have any pockets and it was like a leather jacket and when it poured it mythis, all raised up and now it’s permanently like that. Apparently just cos it rained and it irritated.

Oh wow

You wouldn’t think rainwater, the most natural thing, would irritate skin.

But it does mine. Even on my face, when it rains my face is down, if I had just my scarf I’d have to cover up my face. So, I’ve realised my skin isn’t too happy about rainwater.