Did you have to come home and call other people to tell them what was happening?

Yes. The phone never stopped going and that drove me mad because we used to have to unplug the phone to eat a meal. My sister stayed here with me for the whole time. Shed look after my dog and the house or if I had to go out in the middle of the night shed be here in the house, you know. And she stayed with me the whole time. But the phone used to get on my nerves. And I know it was only people that cared but youd have to explain yourself over and over again. And I used to think well if it’s anybody important, only the important people had my mobile phone, so I used to unplug it just so as we could get a bit of peace in between four and seven before we went back up there. Or sometimes Id come home if [my husband] was alright 4ish, and everything depended on his bloods you see. When they took the bloods and the gases and everything and if they were alright then Id leave. So your life is just revolving around that completely. You don’t have a life of your own. You just revolved around that [laughs].

Then he went out of the intensive care then and down onto the ward and we, like I said, we were waiting for a place to come up at [the second hospital]. And he was on the ward for a day and a half and I got there at 11 oclock on the second day and I phoned my brother that night and I said, Youve got to get him. Youve got to take me to [the second hospital] I don’t want him there. Hes not to stay there. Take me to [the second hospital] tomorrow. Hes not staying on that ward. It’s disgusting.

So anyway he took the day off work to take me to [the second hospital] the next day but I went into [hospital name] onto the ward and as I got onto the wards, the registrar came up to me and said, Weve got some good news. [Your husbands] being transferred to [the second hospital] tomorrow. Oh no it was that afternoon. So I said, Oh that’s good. And then I followed the ambulance that he was in to [the second hospital]. And then I stayed in [the second hospital] for a week in the nurses quarters there. They were a bit like a

Was it a relatives room?

No it was like, it was like hotel but it was just like nurses quarters but it was for relatives. You had to pay to stay there. Yeah.

So he was in the general ward of the first hospital for a couple of days?

Yes.

What was your main concern when he was there?

Well I just thought that he wasnt being looked after and after being so seriously ill and coming through so much, I used to go then. You never saw a nurse. They were just too busy. There was, they were just all student nurses on the ward. There was too many people. He was in a side ward again because he had this MRSA and there just wasnt enough people to look after. There wasnt enough qualified nurses to look after somebody whod been so poorly. And I didnt think he was getting, it’s not that I wanted him to have loads of attention again but I don’t think he was getting looked after at all properly there.

Could he do anything for himself?

No, no.

And were you going there?

I was going there and helping to drink his tea. I shaved him. I washed him and then Id go back at teatime, the same thing again. Make sure he had his tea and Id sort the telly out for him. Suppose the nurses did go in and I think an occupational therapist had gone in there to see him. And [my husband] was still very muddled. He wasnt at all with it. He, you know, he was still. Up until days when he was in [the second hospital] he was still really. Obviously he had been sedated and heavily sedated for so long it, you know, they just werent wearing off him. It must have took a week or two weeks to wear off him.

So then he was transferred to the other hospital?

To [the second hospital] then yeah.

So I knew he was safe. So I was sleeping better then. And because I knew he was safe and because I knew that Id been to the hospital and it was, it was spotlessly clean and when you see so many nursing sisters floating round. And there were still student nurses there but they seemed, they werent harassed. There was more nurses to less patients. There was, you know, probably about eight patients, ten patients on [my husbands] ward whereas in [the first hospital] there was about 30 odd patients to those four nursing staff that are up there. So that’s why. It wasnt their f

I think the whole time that he was in hospital and it cost me 23 a day to go to [place name] between the petrol, to putting money on his television card, between him phoning me, between perhaps taking bits up there and going through the tunnel each way, it cost over 20 a day. And because he wasnt working and he wasnt claiming sick pay for all that time, we went through 3,500 of our saving paying, just paying the bills really. Yeah. And just getting to see him every day at [place name], yeah.

And he was in hospital in ICU for five and a half weeks?

Yeah.

What were your thoughts and feelings right from the beginning, in the middle and to the point where then he was well enough to be moved? What were your main concerns?

Just to get him right again and all I wanted, all I kept wanting him to do was come off the oxygen so that, because I was trying to work towards getting him to [another hospital] because I knew that they couldnt fix him completely, if you know what I mean. Not that he was broke but I knew that he had to go to [another hospital] to get this thing clamped or whatever, the blood vessel in his head clamped. Because until hed had that done he was never going to be better. It could have bled again and I knew he wasnt safe until he got there and had that done.

So all I kept thinking was to the next stage. Let’s get him off the oxygen. Let’s get him off the C-PAP. Let’s get him breathing on his own. Let’s get him to [the other hospital]. Let’s get him fixed but that’s all. But like I say every time we got somewhere something would happen. Hed have to go back or hed have to go back on the oxygen to give him a rest overnight because he was tired and because. And then they had to give him two, I think that it was a lot of blood. Not one, two lots of blood because obviously they were taking the blood samples off him to see the state of his chest. And because they were only taking small amounts every hour but all the small amounts were adding up. So when they gave him a blood transfusion he perked up for a couple of days and that was better.

But I just kept hoping for the next stage really and thinking, right weve got through that. Now let’s get. And Id say to the nurses, ‘so once hes on that C-PAP how long does it? And Id ask them questions. How long does he have to stay on that for? What do his oxygen levels have to be before we can take him off that? And Id ask them what, you know, when they were taking the blood samples if that’s good. Can he come off that now? Can he go on C-PAP? And Id stand at the end and theyd explain things to me and show me stuff.

I was just so tired and your mithered to death, your mind is so mithered. But you’re just completely focused. Your whole mind is focused on the hospital and absolutely nothing else. That’s all you can think about is getting there and I mean, they had my mobile phone number. I used to be on the beach with my dog at six in the morning and if my mobile phone went off at a funny hour Id jump out of my skin, you know, because you knew it was. And if it came up private number I just knew it was the hospital and even though you just jump out of your skin and answer it. And to drive from here to hospital and try and concentrate when theyre saying to you, Youve got to come here. And youve just got to completely think. You know youve got to really switch your brain off. And Ive got to do this and you know youve got to do this. You know youve got to get through this. So it’s you, you just push and drive yourself to keep going.

Did you get much sleep in that five and a half weeks?

Oh God no. Id sort of sleep for maybe three hours and wake up and then maybe be awake for an hour or so. You know you think about the day and then youd nod back off again and then, like I say, I used to be on the beach every morning at six with my dog.

To be honest with you I wasnt very patient with people because I used to think theyd come out with stupid things and stupid statements and ask so many stupid questions when it was as plain as the nose on your face that the man was really sick. You only had to go there. They shouldnt, I don’t know I felt like I was being mithered but my family know me so well that they didnt mither me because they know that I would probably bite a chunk out of them [laughs]. Ive got a lot of patience with children and that and animals and everything normally. Not with grown-ups. I’m not very patient with grown-ups [laughs].

One nurse said, Do you know you’re amazing, [laughs]. You know because I never lost my hope and I thought But I really do believe that if he was going to die hed have died in the field. I mean he died twice in the field and they brought him back. The helicopter people, medics, brought him back. You know he nearly died up there in the hospital but they brought him back. So if he was going to die, you know, I mean hes not a bloody cat is he? Hed have been dead in the field. I said, He wont die. Hed have died ages ago if he was going to die. I’m telling you he will not die. And, you know, I really felt. I think if he was going to die I would have felt it and Id never ever felt one, when even he was at rock bottom I never felt that he was ever going to die. They must have thought I’m balmy but there you go.

I kept things back from my daughters because I didnt want the hospital taking over their lives. I wanted them to have something in between. I mean like one of them’s got a little boy and the other’s got two, the baby and a little girl. And I didnt want. It was monopolising and taking over my life which it should have done, he was my husband and I know he was their father but I kept things from them [laughs]. And I was there one night and it was like 10 oclock and [my daughter] phoned up and she said shed phoned up Intensive Care and one of the nurses shouted, It’s your daughter. What’s the matter with my dad? And I said, Nothing why and she said, Well if theres nothing the matter with him why are you still there, you know. So I said, Oh. I think I told her a lie. I think something was going wrong and I said, Oh hes just, I’m just on my way now hes just, I’m just waiting for the next blood check or something. But I mean like I just used to try and keep some stuff from them because they didnt need to know everything. I mean things were bad enough anyway without everybody, you know. It was just chaos really.

And did they know how seriously ill he was or that…?

Yes they did, yeah. But I used to try and play some bits down a bit, you know with. And if they rang me and said, you know, Hes going to die, something’s really wrong here you need to get up here. Then I would have rung them and said it but if I thought perhaps they were being a bit overly cautious which sometimes I thought they perhaps were then I wouldn’t ring them. Id, although I know they were the experts I used to think, Well you know, weve been here before, Ill hang on a bit. And then hed pick up.