Well my first experience with healthcare would probably be surrounding periods. So, I actually didnt, there isnt actually any set information anywhere I could find about how to deal with a period if you are trans all the sort of stuff I could find was like it’s not talked about and it is very distressing, which it is very uncomfortable, obviously. The reason I actually found out about it was through doing biology in year eleven and actually talking to a teacher because I had an anxiety attack during that lesson because I couldnt deal with it, because I hated it so much. So I did get an appointment with the doctors and they talked about the different methods of stopping periods. But I think the information that doctors give is very complex. It’s quite over complicated the way they deliver it. There was quite a few different options. It’s not exactly laid out clearly enough for people to understand. I think depending on where you are again and the education you receive that might be an issue. Because it is quite complex and there are a lot of different names like they are based on progesterone and oestrogen. The names they have can be quite off-putting. And the information surrounding is also quite vague. I do kind of understand what they were saying. But I did get quite contrasting information so it was quite difficult for me to kind of really understand what I was actually being injected with. So I’m on a kind of progesterone injection.

it’s not good. But it does relieve the mental pain physically. Feeling the pain, it helps and I do tell my mum when I do, do it and as long I am keeping the wounds clean, she’s not happy that I do it, but she’s okay as long as I’m keeping it clean and I’m looking after myself. It is something that does help to get rid of that mental pain in a way.

Asexuality as a whole is a spectrum it’s another umbrella term for a whole different range of orientations as well. In that spectrum I identify as quoisexual, which means I have no romantic or sexual attraction to anybody of any gender. So having to live in this very like very basically sex based society is incredibly uncomfortable and incredibly awkward for me. I am constantly surrounded by it and people my age constantly going on about it. It’s really uncomfortable and very alarming for me cause I cant deal with that very well. It makes me feel it’s another big trigger for me is trying to fit in with this very sex governed society. I hate it. I cant do anything about it, because it’s what people are doing. I have experienced a bit of acephobia from my dad saying that I am going to have a family when I’m older, although I’m not. I don’t have an interest in children. I don’t like them. I don’t have like—I know I’m allowed to feel how I feel, but because of those prejudices and what everybody else says, although I shouldn’t listen to them, I try to not to. I just feel really out of place. It didnt really help that all the people I have met at these [Charity] places and are all gay or bi and that kind of thing. All my friends they are like they are either bi, straight, they are all into like that kind of thing. There is a lot of sexism at my school as well like some of the students. I hear a lot of misogynistic comments. It does not contribute well to how I’m feeling. I cant stop my feelings and it’s a term I feel comfortable with. Other people don’t seem to understand that. That or they think it’s a joke that I’m just trying to figure out who I actually am that it isnt actually a thing. So it’s very difficult to try and actually explain to them how I’m feeling, and it is actually a thing that people can feel.

What would you say to people that, you know, criticise in that way?

People who criticise asexuality are the same people who criticise LGBT in general. Basically what I say to them is you can’t deal with two guys or two girls kissing but you also can’t deal with a guy not kissing anybody which doesnt actually make any sense to me.

What do you say to people that kind of don’t believe in it?

They are just ignorant. I cant change their opinions. They are going to be stressed out for the rest of their lives cause they can’t accept that not everybody is straight or gay basically. There are others there are other sexualities that people are allowed and do feel there isn’t just three or four main ones it’s a whole spectrum like everything else in life. If somebody didnt want to have a relationship, they don’t have a relationship. The world isn’t going to end. You already have an over population problem it’s not going to make a difference. it’s a very small percentage of people are ace anyway. So really it’s not going to effect anything. Even then in saying that I have said that asexual is a spectrum and some asexuals do like to have sex. So, really, I don’t really know what to say to them apart from the fact that it’s a spectrum and we are all human at the end of the day, it’s not gonna make a difference.

Absolutely. I got what you were saying about the spectrum, but I think it was a bit muffled when you described kind of the label that you kind of the take in the spectrum.

In the spectrum of sexuality, I take the label quoisexual

And how did you kind of how did you come to that kind of understanding?

I only recently found that label and that’s kind of what I’ve been feeling for a very long time. I kind of discovered that there was an extension to the LGBT acronym basically I learned about it. I discovered the plus bit and I kind of looked into the main letters cause I know it also includes LGBTQQIA so I looked into what the A meant and I read the definition of asexuality and I was like, wow. That actually sounds like what I’m feeling. I really like that and I can take that label. I know not everybody likes labels but I do kind of feel the need to for me to understand myself a bit better is kind of have some kind of sort of label that I do feel comfortable with and that I can explain to myself what I am feeling is.

Well the knowledge I found most useful was probably to do with binding, and periods. So, with binding I never, I didn’t really know how to wear a binder at first. So I didn’t realise that there was a certain amount, well a good time limit to wear it. So I used to wear mine for like, like 10, 12 hours a day. And I’ve got quite a tight one. So I used to get very bad back pains and friction burn due to the lack of knowledge of how to properly wear one cause I couldn’t actually find out any key points about how long to wear it or anything. So eventually I found out via Pinterest and eventually I actually also found out there was other methods of binding as well as just getting a binder. I looked for the safest one, apparently, according to other sources I looked at. So that information is quite hidden, I think. There isn’t any easy way to access it. It depends also on the resources available and kind of the areas that you are in, actually, as well.

Absolutely. Okay, well would you be able to just describe how a yeah, how a binder works just in case, you know, that might be useful for people to know about?

Okay. Well, there are different types of binders. You can get full body or you can get half or you can use tape. So, Ive got a kind of, one which is almost looking like a crop top and that is probably the safest one. I know there are different ones you can get. I know one site recommended is like G2C or something like that GC2b-binders. I mean, you can look at, I mean, there are different sites you can look at but getting one which is more like a top is better. Although, I mean, I’ve also found out that the amount of time you are, kind of, the safest amount of time to wear a binder is about 8 hours and no longer than that. Because they are literally crushing – they are supposed to suppress the kind of, breast tissue which also can lead to issues surrounding back and ribs and they can actually cause cracked ribs. So it’s quite an issue that you have one the right size for your chest. It’s also of course, if you are, if you are somebody who exercises a lot that you do not wear one whilst exercising, because it does, it is, like I said suppressing your ribs which will then obviously impact how the lungs will inflate, technically. Also not to wear one while, not to kind of, go swimming in it, because they are quite difficult to get off [laughs].

I found through experience— there is tape available, but tape is more risky than actually wearing a binder as you can’t really control, you can control the tightness better. If you do it too tight, you do increase the risk of cracking your ribs which is obviously very dangerous and then will require you go to hospital and depending on where you are in the world that might be a bit of an issue, or if you’re not, if you are kind of in a situation where you can’t really do anything else that’s maybe not the best option. But as soon as you can get a proper brand from a proper company. It might be best to do that because they are set at certain tightnesses so that you don’t end up having to be in a situation where you’ve caused your self harm because of it. So there are certain time limits which are best to wear binders. And not to get them wet or exercising with them. You can breathe and not suppress yourself so much.

That’s really useful. Thank you. How have you found wearing a binder?

Honestly, I probably now like depend on it so much. I can’t go anywhere or do anything. I need to have it. it’s something I need to have, I can’t go out without wearing one. Even at home, I have to wear one which is just something I feel more comfortable doing. I just need to have one otherwise I get quite bad dysphoria because of it. For me, wearing a binder is quite crucial to how I look and my body image. I’m not that big-busted anyway, but I mean, it’s just something I feel like, if I have it on I feel more comfortable and I feel like I am more able to pass. For me, personally, it’s kind of crucial, but I also know some other trans guys or other guys or people who are non-binary and do wear binders, it might not be such an issue. But for me, personally it is.

If there is anything that I could suggest for trans healthcare in the future. It would be to basically improve education surrounding the subject to make it more inclusive for people who are trans to make it more inclusive for them in particularly science classes, talking about talking about kind of personal health. I know in year eleven biology you do a few things surrounding fertility, contraception, sex ed that kind of stuff but in that I do think we don’t actually talk about any issues surrounding gender. It’s always male/female. There isnt any spectrum. There isnt any mention of trans. There isnt any mention of non-binary. The gender spectrum it’s always XY or XX. There isnt any in between. You don’t even have intersex people which I think is very important to talk about, because they are valid. They are existing as well. I think that should, I think that would help a few people if it was more inclusive in education. If they do actually talk about LGBT issues, trans issues in the classroom to help people who are struggling with identity or don’t know how to bind or are confused about how with their partners if they wanted to have sex that kind of thing what to do that kind of stuff or kind of things like that.

I mean, private healthcare is more to do with a capitalistic approach to it, to get money, but I know it’s faster, but it’s more expensive than being on—it’s quicker, but it’s more expensive than the NHS. I get the private healthcare, professionals are just as good. But it is more expensive and for some people that might not even be an option like it’s not possible due to the cost. Like £8,000, £20,000 to get in some private healthcare to get like the drugs and get surgery for trans people. And some people just will never get enough money on top of trying to live their lives in order to do that. It’s just impossible. I get people that, people want to have a practice and yes, they want to have a job. If you don’t want to be NHS practitioner and you wanna get money then private healthcare is probably the right path for you. But really, not everybody has private healthcare money. And those people who don’t often are the ones who might need surgery the most.