Bette

Bette started experiencing pain more than 20 years ago, and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia by a rheumatologist. Bette thinks she missed out on self-management support after her diagnosis and would benefit from a course to learn more coping strategies.

Bette started noticing pain in her shoulders and neck more than 20 years ago. It coincided with a period of stress in her life. Whilst she initially thought the pain might be related to her osteoarthritis, she noticed becoming fatigued, feeling pain with the slightest touch and having sleep problems. Bette also got quite anxious and a bit depressed around this time which was new to her. She saw the GP about her increasingly severe symptoms. After some blood tests, she was referred to a rheumatologist who diagnosed her with fibromyalgia. Bette was told that there is no magic pil and received a booklet to read.

After the diagnosis, Bette felt that she was left on her own to find ways to cope with her fibromyalgia symptoms. She had to research online to find out about the condition, and was not offered any support, such as a referral to a pain clinic. Although Bette largely self-manages her condition, she has tried out various medications prescribed by her GP. She now takes amitriptyline despite not being keen to take it. However, she finds that it helps her to sleep. This is even more important as Bette was recently diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which negatively affects her sleep. She was also assessed by an occupational therapist which was organised by her GP. The adjustments in her flat enable her to better manage her daily life. Bette still feels that she would benefit from a self-management course to learn more about coping strategies, as she missed out on such support after her diagnosis.

Bette’s whole life has been impacted by fibromyalgia. She was forced to retire early from work, and has had to give up hobbies like running and going to the theatre. To get extra support for her mobility issues, Bette applied for a disability benefit but was turned down. Whilst she found the whole experience very stressful, she appreciated the support of a welfare rights officer. Bette feels that fibromyalgia is an invisible illness where you can look fine but feel terribl. She suggests that more understanding is needed amongst healthcare and other professionals as well as the general public.

Bette has discovered different strategies to cope better with her symptoms, such as using a hot tub to relieve her pain. She also tries to be as active as possible even on bad days, which is especially important for her arthritis. She goes for short walks with her dog, and enjoys gardening, cooking and meeting people. She values the understanding of her friends, who provide practical support and reassurance. She also takes part in an online support group which she generally finds useful.

Bette’s advice to other people with fibromyalgia would be to accept your limitations and try to take care of yourself – try to find things you can do and remember that it is okay to say no; to something.

Bette talks about how important it is to have someone who understands fibromyalgia.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette has had to cancel lots of events as she often just doesn’t feel up to it on the day.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette compares fibromyalgia care with other conditions like cancer and diabetes and feels like people with fibromyalgia are less supported. She wishes that health professionals could be more understanding and that a dedicated support clinic would be good.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette has invested in an instant hot water tap so she doesn’t need to lift the kettle. She also buys ready chopped vegetables.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette feels she’s lost out financially. She describes how the whole process of being assessed for benefit eligibility can be stressful.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette said that getting diagnosed with fibromyalgia provided reassurance to others that you’re not making your symptoms up.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette started noticing symptoms when she was caring for her disabled mum and grandmother with dementia.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43

Bette finds using her hot tub fantastic for helping with pain.

Age at interview 63

Age at diagnosis 43