And did you get support from talking to friends or family or ...?
Well yes, and no. This is tricky. You have to be, it depends how you want to play it. I’m quite open. So I don’t mind telling everyone about this, but it’s much harder I think for the woman to go through this, because all the pressure is on her. For the man it’s very simple, you just go off and do and your bit and then you don’t really, you know, you’re just there being supportive, but all the pressure is on her and so people, how’s it going? Is everything okay? And that, you know, as we say to people, “If there was anything to tell you, you’d know. So don’t ask. There’s no real point.” If they are very close friends then it, but even then, there’s no point in asking, “How’s it going then?” Because it’s bloody obvious. We are not pregnant, so yes, don’t talk about it. And there’s good days when you can talk about it, and there’s really bad days when the hormones are playing up and you’ve, you know, you’ve had a row yourselves and it’s all just getting on top of you, and the last thing you want to do is talk about it, so …
But did you want to talk about it at any point? Did you find…?
We’d talk about it to some friends, but it has to be on your terms, and people can’t ask you and say, “Oh,” because, you know, people are interested and I think people are trying to be helpful. There were a couple of people who would keep pushing it, even though I would have a quiet word and say, “Please don’t say anything. Please.” But they would keep pushing it, and that would be really upsetting.
And I mean that’s a great thing for people to be aware of actually is to try and, it’s a great thing that the man can do in the relationship is to let people know that we don’t, or we do want to talk about it Some people are very open, but just to make it clear. Because people don’t understand, they want to be involved. And it’s like well, yes, this is really tough. So you’re not there all the time, you know, the friends aren’t there all the time, whereas you two are living in that relationship and its only you know how you’re feeling how you’re feeling at that time.