But the thing is again I can drive a car, get in a car, what’s so strange, I had been in rehab about a year or so, and my dad said to me, Do you want to drive again I said, I’d love to. But if I can’t walk or talk driving a car’s not easy Let’s go to [place]. There’s a research centre at [place]. We’ll find out. I’ll come with you That’s cool. Went there, and when we arrived there, we signed in, so they give me the keys, and I said, Hang on, I’ve had a head injury. I’ve not driven for a year or two and I’ve had to have to walk and talk again, and you’re asking me to drive a car Yeah, come oh, I’ll be with you. it’s fine And I went in the car with her. I started the car and I just drove, in the secluded area. But I, I pulled away, clutch, brakes, change of gear all easily and I’m thinking, what the hell’s going on? But because my long-term memory’s good, I’m thinking I shouldn’t be able to do that because I had to learn again to walk and talk but it was easy.

Yes.

Just going back in. And it taught me how good the long-term memory is. How retentive it is. it’s fine. Yes.

And tell me about your particular car. Did you have to have any modifications done to it?

No. Because I picked one that is high enough and the steering move itself. So this is, I suppose the car manufacturers themselves they get better at listening. The steering can come up and go down you know. And the seats are adjustable as well. it’s quite good. Because that way it would minimise the actual equipment that I need for myself, because the wheel can move backward and forward and go up and go down. That way you can adjust it to suit you, to suit yourself. And that, that car was good for me.

And is it an automatic car?

Automatic, yes.

Great and why did you pick an automatic car over a manual car?

Because at one time my hand was too arthritic. I have arthritis in both hands as well. And it was too difficult. So if you just have manual, at least, if you have an automatic at least it’s easier, just to, to drive along.

But if you live in London it’s so shit. Every borough has different parking things.

I was thinking about making about making a Blue Badge parking app to help people find it, but and make me some money, but I just couldn’t be bothered, because I don’t, I think this is just sort of prohibitive, the rules, particularly around Central London, Kensington and the City, that I just think that people in wheelchairs just don’t go there that much, because it’s, I mean it’s so prohibitive. it’s really like inconsiderate and unhelpful. And, you know, I get, I get so many tickets. And do you know, you appeal them, you learn – this is a good bit of advice – don’t just say, You’re a cunt. Why have you given me this ticket You know, even if you think they’re totally wrong, you’ve just got to like play past them, like, I’m sorry. It seems to me that this may have happened.. And yeah, yeah, just be meeker than you really are and you’ll get more of them. If you get angry or the tone becomes kind of aggressive, they just, they just don’t let you off them soAnd to be honest, they just don’t let you off any of them really, they just, they’re dicks, they’re trying to make money. And the rules are different in every borough. it’s a nightmare. So that’s a complaint.

Plus the fact that there are so many people with Blue Badges who don’t bloody need them. You know, the symbol is a wheelchair. I’ve had, I was at the Royal Festival Hall, going to see a play. And I parked in the disabled bay. This woman ran up to me, and goes, Excuse me, are you meant to be parked there I said, What the fuck is wrong with you? This is my wheelchair. What the fuck is wrong with you And I don’t know. I’m sure the rules are quite strict, but they don’t seem to be strict enough, or it would be better if there was something. I never really see a guy in a wheelchair getting out of a car ever. I see lots of people parked in Blue Badge bays and they look like the children of old parents, you know, like middle aged people that are like, Well this is like an easy way of parking There’s fuck all Blue Badge space in Central London anyway. Yes, parking’s a pain in London, but driving is a joy. So you know, get a car.

Yes, because I’m able to Yes it is, and yes it’s not. I’m able to do many things I’m also limited on certain things. I’m also aware that I’m limited on memory, short term memory and stamina. So I know, because of my limitations I gotta be aware of what if? What if? What if? So for example, when I park my car I make notes where my car’s parked, because I know tomorrow or maybe in an hour’s time I’ll forget it. I can drive because my long-term memory is good. I can drive. You ask me where I’ve driven or where my car’s parked, I don’t know. I don’t, because I don’t know if I can tell you, it’s a worry. Yes, it’s what ifs again, what ifs, what ifs, what ifs. Yeah.

But eventually I asked whether or not he could have asked the insurance company, but the accident wasn’t my fault, whether or not they’d buy me an automatic car, because I had a manual car. It was quite new the car wasn’t it that we had, it was only two years old? I think we were still paying for it I think at the time, so you know, very small mileage on it. But I couldn’t drive it. And eventually we got an automatic car. And I remember getting into this car, when we picked it up or it was delivered. I think it was delivered. And I went out and drove it for the first time and I felt so liberated because I could feel I was going somewhere at the speed that was normal, and I felt part of the world again, and after that I started, started carrying keys, started having money in my pocket, credit cards, and started doing things again. But it was the point of being able to control my life again in a manner that I was able at the speed that was normal, but turned me out of the morose that I was beginning to go under.