Can you explain a bit more why you think breastfeedings one of the best experiences? What is it about it that makes you glow when you talk about it?

I think breastfeeding is one of the best experiences, it’s just, it’s , this is really weird for me to say because I was a clubbing girl, I used to go out all the time, my friends were a bit worried when they found out I was pregnant, you know, How you going to cope? We don’t see you as earth mother. And everything like that and then as soon as my daughter came along I just changed and, I want to do my best for my daughter, I will do anything for her and breastmilk is one of the best things you can give your child. It’s natural, theres nothing bad in it, it’s a natural way of feeding your child as we all know it’s , you know, all these reports and that says you know, it’s the best thing for your child and, I think it helps with your bonding. To new mothers and mothers that are expecting, I think I’d say to them that take it slowly, don’t rush yourself, but I think that was my problem, like I said, I was out to the local town within a week and a half of having a daughter. I walked up the road to a local supermarket within two weeks and were talking about huge hills and I’d had an emergency caesarean. Just accept the fact that you’re going to be out of it for a few months. Your life doesn’t carry on like it was before no matter how much you want it to, actually when you’ve had your child you don’t want it to carry on like it did before it’s , you know, you’ve got this other person in your life and, get, you know, go to your local groups that’s what they’re there for. I’ve made quite a few new friends, you have support, even if you don’t want to see them outside the group, it gives you a good chance to go in and just offload everything, because you do need to offload. Although you’re not, out for work and, all this other pressure that friends and family put on you, you know, When are you returning to work? When’s this? When’s that?’ Just enjoy it, even if you feel like it’s the worst thing that’s happening at the moment, you’ve got so many problems, there is a time when hopefully it’ll all get better and you’ll really enjoy it, and you just take things steady.

What would you say to a newly pregnant woman?

I think I would try to talk about some of the realities of breastfeeding. I think with me experience with new mums and the pregnant mums, the benefits of it, are not something that actually makes a big impact on their decision, I think a lot of people have the, ‘Well that won’t happen to me anyway’, sort of frame of mind, but I think looking at the other things about breastfeeding, that it’s not just about benefits, it’s not just that it’s good for a baby, and it’s, you know, it’s good for a mum, but also the, the emotional part of it, what that has to offer. The feeling of holding that little baby that’s been breastfed, and it looks up at you, and that connection and that eye contact, and that feeling then of wanting to protect this little bundle, and I think a new mum has, or an expectant mum that’s very sort of, they’re very focused on that, that immediate sort of birth and just after the birth and the first holding of this little baby, and the skin-to-skin contact, the cuddles that it brings, because it, you know, it’s not just about the food, it’s about a whole, it covers everything, the whole mothering of the baby, so I think looking at it like that, not only looking at what nutritional value it has, and what it may help prevent and things, but as a whole, and what the whole thing offers. And also again the reality is, you know, of how many times a baby feeds in a day, and that they don’t necessarily want to be put down. And just, I’ve found actually with talking to the pregnant ladies that when you put it like that, when you say to them, ‘You’ve carried this baby for nine months, it’s heard your heart beat, and it’s been awake and heard your voice and, everything that it’s natural that hes going to want to be with you. I think, they then think ‘Well yeah because like me with my health visitor it just makes sense. And it’s easier to think of it that way, so I think that is important, but not to go into having a baby with great expectations of what it’ll all be like and to, just acknowledge that it won’t be this fluffy experience that we all think it will, because it is, it is that if you’re not prepared for the other parts which are hard, the tiredness, sleepless nights, the feeling of, ‘Oh my God, theres this baby that I’ve just had, What do I do? What do I do with this baby? No, no don’t leave this room, you don’t leave me with it, I don’t know what to do’ acknowledge that everybody has that, and you are not different and it’s not that you’re not bonding, and it’s not that you’re not a good mother, it’s just such an overwhelming experience. I think that’s important for people to know, and it all then comes together with breastfeeding, if you’re aware of this it makes breastfeeding seem a much more natural and normal thing to do.

What would you say to a pregnant mother then?

What would I say? I’d definitely encourage a pregnant mother to try breastfeeding. I think everyone should try breastfeeding. I’m becoming more and more staunch about that as well, because the more you read about breastfeeding the more you find out about it and your baby and you follow this path of breastfeeding, the more amazing you realise it is, and how terrible the breastfeeding rates in our country are. And we, we sugar coat facts a little bit as well, but we say that your baby’s at lower risk of such and such, like lower risk of obesity if you breastfeed but you don’t hear, see on bottles you’re increasing the risk of your baby being obese if you give your baby this bottle. And I’d also advise a new mum, that you don’t need to buy anything at all for breastfeeding, if you really want to splash out then buy yourself some nice breastfeeding bras with clips, but you don’t need anything else. You don’t need to pump yet, you can get that six months down the line when you go back to work. You don’t need any of the things that people try to sell you. Breastfeedings free and they’re just trying to cash in on it, because if you choose to breastfeed then formula feeding companies lose a lot of money. Because formula is expensive and then the bottles, the steriliser’s, the colic drops, all sorts of things can then be sold on to you, whereas if you choose to breastfeed, you’re really saying, ‘Don’t need to spend any money this year, or this six months. because some babies might wean before six [laughs] and count the solid food before six months.

I wish I had seen more people breastfeeding, I wish I had known that the way you position them is important and the way you put their mouth to the breast is important, you can’t just sort of put them on willy-nilly. I wish I’d known that it wasn’t going to be easy straightforward, I mean I know for some people it is, but I would say the majority of people I know have had quite a lot of problems beginning breastfeeding. So maybe I wish I’d, armed myself in advance with a few books or maybe gone to some kind of breastfeeding workshop or classes or something. I really wished thered been a Breastfeeding Clinic in London where I had my first baby, there is one where I live now, which has helped, helped me with my second baby, I should have mentioned that I, that I did go to see them and they were very good at telling you how to latch the baby on and encouraging you to keep persevering even if it was difficult. I think the encouragement and support from people who’ve breastfed themselves or who know, know a lot about it is one of the most important things. I wish that I’d had more family who’d breastfed or, more friends, I think if I had then I would’ve known what to expect a bit more with the first baby.

What would you like to say to a newly pregnant woman?

I’d like to say that if, once breastfeeding has been properly established it is the best thing, I mean it’s enjoyable, the babies love it, it’s a very good experience all round it really is a big part of being a mother for me. But it can be tough in the early weeks and to get all the support that you possibly can from people who’ve been there and who’ve, because I think theres no, theres actually reading books is fine but theres no substitute for hands on, someone who can actually pick up your baby and show you how to position it, and can also kind of hold your hand and give you that support and that encouragement to keep on going and not to say, ‘Oh well perhaps you better try a bottle then’, because once you start going down that road it’s difficult to come back.

To a for a new mother who’s planning to breastfeed I would say, ‘Make sure you’ve got all your support networks in place, make sure you’ve got a lot of time to relax and a lot of time to discover your baby and discover the breastfeeding relationship lots and lots of skin to skin contact definitely a really big positive and if you have any problems at all get in contact with someone before they get so bad that you can’t bear them.

I think that the best thing that you can do is say that you want to breastfeed your baby and to hold on to that thought and to find as much help and advice that you can get to be able to continue breastfeeding. Now that can be from a breastfeeding counsellor at the hospital, it might be from your midwife, it may well be from a very supportive health visitor that you have in your area, it might be from a mother and toddler breastfeeding group, it may well be from someone like the La Leche League, but tap into it because it is there and there will be someone who can put you onto someone who will help you. If like me that you need to go and see somebody every day and you want to do supervised feeds there will be someone somewhere who can help you. There might be a breastfeeding mother mentor group in your area, but there will always be help to, for you to get through it. The other thing is if you do have problems is to realise that it’s not going to be over and done with within a week or two weeks, it is an on-going learning process for you and the baby. And that was the hardest thing to come to terms with because of the worry about my maternity leave just going away on the whole problem with breastfeeding. But once I accepted it, this is my job to breastfeed my baby, my maternity leave is not a holiday it is maternity leave, it is here to look after my son. So once I looked at it from that attitude and once I then thought if I have to go to the hospital every day and breastfeed with a load of mums in a room then I will see this as an opportunity to meet other mums who I wouldn’t have met had I stayed at home with my breastfeeding being absolutely excellent. So it’s a, starting to look at the problems as being positives and opening up a new world for you really. But I would say don’t give up because the power of breastfeeding is that you can go and do it anytime, anywhere, any place, you and your baby, and it is just so much easier in the long term. It’s cheaper, it’s easier, it’s healthier, you bond better with your baby, and it’s just the best thing.

Again, as I said, my attitude has changed. I’m probably a little bit more bolshie than I was before because I’d had such a bad experience with it last time and I’m not going to let people bully me in the same way as they bullied me the first time. But it does, I think theres been a shift back more to the fact that it’s, mothers well-being is also important. That, you know, if you stress the mother out then they get over anxious. Then they either end up with more depression or the baby ends up with taking on the anxiety, getting more stressed and the baby can be more colicky and more cryie and less settled and not feed as well because it’s feeling stressed because the mother is stressed and all of that so I just think, you know, Happy Mother, happy baby. If you can breastfeed on top of that, fantastic. If you can’t, don’t stress about it. And I think that’s certainly my message to other mothers is, don’t discount breastfeeding because I still think it’s a really, really good thing to do. But don’t stress yourself if you can’t do it. And there are lots and lots of people out there that have problems. They might all not talk about the fact that they’ve had problems but there are lots of people out there who have problems. So you’re not alone in having problems if you can’t do it and you’re not alone in not being able to do it if you can’t do it but don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t get stressed about it. The most important thing is a happy, feeding, gaining weight baby. So, you know, go with whatever works to be able to accomplish that for you.

I would say for – I would say don’t be ashamed of it. I think I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do it. And felt that – yeah, that I wasn’t a good enough mum. And I think, don’t ever, ever think those thoughts because you’re a good mum if you find a way to keep your baby happy and healthy. And I think, for me, I would still encourage women to do as much breastfeeding as you can, but to recognise that if it’s, if it’s not enough, then there is no harm, I feel, in topping up with formula. And that’s we did. It was definitely a, we didn’t replace. We topped up. So I would breastfeed. If he was still hungry, I’d, the, hed then bottle feed. And that worked for us. I think after a while we then, as he needed more food because he was growing, we then did it so I then alternated feed. So I then did a, I did a breastfeed and then the next one was a bottle feed, next one was a breastfeed, next was the bottle. And we did that for a bit. And eventually it got to the point where I was just giving him one breastfeed in the morning. So it’s sort of going, start to recognise what works for you and feel confident enough that you’re a good enough mum that that’s, you know, you know how to keep your baby happy. So don’t feel that – feel that you’re letting your baby down. I think you’re, yeah, you’re doing the best for your baby by making sure they’re, they’re happy and healthy. However, whatever milk source that might be.