I think cos the stereotype of women having like the typical one is like long hair, like full head of hair, like whereas men it is more acceptable to be bald cos of like male pattern baldness and like old age and stuff. But with women, I think it’s a lot, lot harder cos that stereotype. But if you see, I see people down the street who have chosen to shave their head and that’s cool, but then because I haven’t chosen to shave my head and it’s not like stubbly that’s not OK. Like that’s what I don’t understand like all this fashion is coming in of people taking off half the head or models with like with shaved head, but because they have that tiny like not even inch like tiny, tiny bit of a stubble, that’s more acceptable and that’s, that does wind me up.

But I have the where I’ve got mine is exactly where people shave off, but I can’t shave mine because people think it’s weird.

I mean before I got wigs, I always used to think like it’s quite weird, even like when I’m in school, the way that I sit at my desk, purely because someone behind me, if I look down or like, it was like that much integrated into my mind, it was like the way that I stand and the way that I turn my head like sometimes. So it was kind of like 24/7, I couldn’t really forget about it [laughs]. Yeah, so it was kind of annoying because it was like, even little things, it’s like I just wanna go a day without thinking about it. I don’t know [laughs]. Like now I can walk down the street and have the wind blow and it’s okay. So things like that so it’s like, but back then it was like, if it was a windy I would sometimes have sick days because I couldn’t hide it if it was windy. And you, I guess you never know what way the wind is going to blow. If it blows the wrong way then and it might be in front of the wrong person who’ll be mean to you about it, and so on. It’s just kind of like a lot of things like that or, yeah, again just like any form of swimming or anything like that. Just little things just, I just automatically, it meant I didn’t do [laughs].

I used to do football, I haven’t played it in four years and I miss it so much just because it wasn’t practical. I made the decision when I was 16 that I was gonna stop playing football because of church because of football games moving to a Sunday morning because when you’re 16 you go from girls to ladies. And but I would never put my hair up for a football game which meant that my hair got in the way, it got in my face in football but it was just I was so uncomfortable with it even though the majority of the girls in my football team, at least half of them I’d grown up with so knew about my alopecia but I was like I’m not-, I’m not doing it’ because actually there’s parents, there’s the opposite team, there’s half of the other team, no half of my team even that don’t know and so I didn’t do it. Like now if I got to the gym I’ll quite happily put my hair up and like it’s me, I don’t really- I don’t really care anymore. Like this time last year my alopecia wasn’t visible unless I put my hair up and yet I still was like you know what, I like putting my hair up I’m gonna do it’ but now I wouldn’t put my hair up unless I was going somewhere like the gym.

I’m very much a winter person, I love winter, I love it being cold, I love being able to layer up cos once again with the clothing I like to express myself with clothing, in summer I can’t do that as much cos, I get too hot so I just wear a playsuit or, you know, a pair of shorts, I can’t really do much. Winter, I can really express with layers and jewellery and tights and shoes and all sorts but also once again the colours I love-, just love it being cold, people struggle with the wind because-or I forget people struggle with the wind because they’ve got hair especially in the car when they’ve got the window turned down they have to keep doing this [flicks head].

[Laughs]

Trying to keep their curls from going out and, you know, kind of sitting like this [leans back] and I’m sat there just enjoying the breeze on my face. And I turn around and go, Oh, oh, sorry, d’you want me to shut this? No? Okay then. [Laughs]. So its’s a struggle for other people but for me it’s just never a struggle.

Has alopecia ever affected your eyebrows and eyelashes since then?

Yeah, really weirdly, like when I was in sixth form this bit of my eyebrow, from here to here, just fell out for like a year. It’s fine cos I like used to draw it on like literally, and like people just do that don’t they now? But it was really weird. I don’t know why that happened and it was like-, sometimes like this, I don’t get very many eyelashes just on the bottom, but no, I haven’t. Apart from that, just that one like tiny bit of eyebrow falling out for a bit. They’ve been fine since which like I’m really like grateful for cos I think that makes quite a big difference to like to not looking like you have alopecia, it’s like having them, having eyelashes and eyebrows on your face.

So make-up wise, I’m wearing more than I normally would today [laughs]. But normally, at the moment, cos I penc-, well I pencil in my eyebrows because obviously they haven’t grown back so they’re a major feature of my make-up and probably the bane of my make-up process mainly because they’re so difficult to match. So I’ll often find I’ll have one that’s perfect and then one that’s like a couple of inches like higher. I’m thinking oh no, gotta do that again. So, yeah, with make-up obviously no eyelashes, so I can’t use mascara, which most people wear every day to day if they’re you know, going out. But I’ve found quite a few alternatives to like having that affect. But they’re normally a lot of hassle, so I don’t bother [laughs].

Can you tell me a bit about those?

So, it’s normally just using eyeliner which gives a rough same effect. But if I just put eyeliner where everybody else would, you then have a gap where your eyelashes would normally be. So I normally use a pencil eyeliner to, well it’s called, tight-lining where you are effectively eye line on that bit. Which I nearly always poke myself in the eye doing [laughs]. Yeah, so to sort of do eye make-up it normally is, tight-lining with a pencil and then sort of a pen or gel eyeliner to just finish it off. Eyebrows is normally like a powder and a stencil which is what I currently use. Which is a lot easier than just getting a pencil out, cos I tried that and I could never get the shape right. And then to make that look better, you know, it’s using mixtures of other things like concealer and highlighters and all these ridiculous things I’m not really sure how to use [laughs] to just get it so that they look more defined and a bit more natural than just slapping on you know, powder in a stencil way.

I don’t get sore eyes but I get a lot of stuff that goes in my eyes. Cos obviously your eyelashes, they’re sort of your defence mechanisms, they’re getting things out of your eyes and keeping things out. So when I first started wearing wigs, for example, I had a fringe and it would constantly be in my eye. And because I didn’t have any eyelashes, it was a matter of flicking it out manually and it would just stay stuck in your eye. And you just think oh my God, that hurts. But yeah and things like grit or anything, like if you’re cycling, you know, you’ve got things flying all around in the air, like if anything sort of went near my face it would normally go straight for my eyes, so I’d get grit and bugs occasionally [laughs] and all sorts of things. But I’ve sort of adjusted to that quite quickly.

I’ve got total hair loss everywhere apart from my armpits [laughs]. And a little hair on my arms and a little like tiny patches on my knees or something. But, you know, nothing major anywhere else, no.

How did that hair loss on the rest of your body start or develop?

I think it was kind of around the same time my scalp hair kinda accelerated, I started to lose body hair and I didn’t really care to be honest. It’s body hair [laughs]. The main concern was up there [points to scalp]. So everything else was just, you know, I don’t really mind. I mean because of-, because I was fairly young when I started having it anyway, I didn’t really have any beard anyway. So who knows I could have a proper beard by now if it wasn’t for alopecia [laughs]. But I don’t really miss anything like that and it doesn’t bother me. I like it. I don’t think that’s major, not at all.

Is the scarring on your legs, did you say that’s from trying to get the ingrowing hairs out?

[Nods]

Could I ask a bit about that?

Yeah, it’s, it’s become a habit and I actually tend to do it when I’m stressed and I actually kind of, I know a lot of people do this try and self-assess themselves on the computer but there was something kind of shocked me and scared me and kind of not stopped me from doing it completely but prevented me. When I, I do it when I’m stressed, you know, I really dig at my skin and I, you know, I get a pair of tweezers and I try ripping these hairs out and I notice that I get lots of scabs and I get very upset over it and then I think why is it like this?’ and then I’ll get upset and then I start picking again, you know, trying to get rid of the scab and pulling off the scabs.

When it comes to pubic hair patchy, really patchy. I don’t- because it’s patchy I just get rid of it all, I just get rid of it all cos it’s otherwise a nuisance. It’s very strange, I think it’s more kind of active down below basically, especially on the front, the front view. It’s, it just, I keep getting patches and then I won’t notice cos I just get it all off, I just shave it all off because it’s just such a faff but then I’ll realise that the patch has moved and the hair’s grown back in other places and not just small patches, it’s one big patch and another, you know, patch come out as well. I’m used to that, that’s fine, I just get rid of it all I feel more comfortable without it there, you know, like I said if my hair grew back I’d shave it off cos I’m uncomfortable with it, so I’m more comfortable with it not being there at all.