Have you sort of got involved with any support groups?
I would really hate to do that. I mean, you know, I went, I had a friend who was ill with it and I used go and visit him, and it used to scare the crap out of me, because you go into hospital you see people who’ve got… I mean I’ve led a normal life with it. But if you go into hospital then you see people with the same disease with you that are living hospital lives. It’s absolutely terrifying.
This guy, who is a very good friend of my younger brother, he pretty much got hooked on the codeine and abused it. And he’s a weak person. And, I think he got, he got terrible depression. I mean catastrophically for him, he managed to use his Crohn’s to get himself on disability benefit which has ended his life. Because he had a £100 a week which isn’t enough to live, but it’s enough just to keep the wolf from the door, you know, he used the codeine the wrong way. He used other pharmaceuticals that he ended up getting prescribed as a result of it. And I don’t want to sound sanctimonious, I suppose it does sound a bit sanctimonious but I believe he had something largely similar to what I had.
Maybe, he probably had it a bit worse, but he just messed his life up. He just had no, maybe he had it a lot worse than me, maybe that’s a harsh thing to say. But his life was... I mean I gather now, he’s now talking to his family, but his life was basically ruined – by having this. But I also think the worst thing that could ever happen to him was disability benefit which is just a way in which you don’t deal with life, you know, you’ve got just enough money to feed yourself. So you don’t go and get a job, and he’s spent his whole life feeling sorry for himself. And taking the pharmaceuticals … taking I can’t remember what it was, I think he got into other things as well as the codeine. I can’t remember what it was now, but it destroyed him, the Crohn’s, just destroyed him.
But I never needed a support group and I’ve got my sister there anyway. And I’ve got three sisters. One has serious Crohn’s like I’ve got, and the other two have really got Colitis or Crohn’s too. So it’s permeated the entire family in my generation.
And the only support you’ve said, you’ve had your sister?
You haven’t felt like seeking support outside of …?
No. No I mean I’ve got Crohn’s, I’ve got Crohn’s Association stuff, but I always, I never really had active Crohn’s and so, not after that operation. I didn’t think there was much in it for me, and it was, as I said, I don’t, I didn’t even, when I had those check ups I didn’t like going to hospital. I don’t like being around other sick people. I don’t like seeing other Crohn’s people looking shit. You know, there’s no use you having depression, you just soldier on.
Did you read much about it?
Have you ever looked on the internet?
No I don’t want anything to do with it. Every now and then if a new cure has come up I might have a look at it, but I didn’t, I didn’t consider myself, I consider myself to be leading a normal life afterwards. Notwithstanding I went to the toilet a lot. Occasionally there’d be something in press about oh this big new cure, I have a quick l