When [name of husband] first came home and [name], the hospice care nurse, wanted to come round, at first he said ‘Oh no, no, no’ because hospice care, or Macmillan is synonymous with, “That’s the end,” you know, you know my last; But when we persuaded him to let her come, he was so glad, because she has given him a different outlook, you know. She explained to him that just because it’s hospice care it doesn’t mean you’re on your last legs; But shes the one who can help with things just outside of the medical –
Yes.
– the practical care.
Yes.
Shes been so helpful. And I would say to anyone, don’t be frightened, just because it’s hospice care; don’t be frightened to let the person in.

Wife He found that there was no one to talk to –

Yeah,
Wife – and he felt alone. Then when hed get a problem other peopled come out of the woodwork and say, ‘Ah yes, I’ve got this or that cancer’ and he found there are quite a lot of people he knew had different cancers.

Oh really?

Patient’ Yeah, yeah.

Wife – so, it –

So they all got together.

Wife He said, “Well let’s start a group” and it’s gone from strength to strength. We meet once a month and usually have a speaker on some aspect that’s going to be helpful to some of the people. We all find it interesting, and then between times we have social events when we go out and enjoy ourselves and the ‘C’ word is banned sort of thing;

You talk about other things because weve had our serious meetings and to talk to other people, just around locally and know that you all share the same problems is a massive boost.

So family members go as well.

Wife Yes. It’s usually couples isn’t it?

Patient’ Yes. Theres a carer for everybody, so yeah.

Wife Husbands and wives go along.

Can you tell me what… which subjects come up at the group?

Patient’ I organised one speaker one night, and I asked the stoma nurse and the colorectal nurse. Now the colorectal nurse takes over when the stomas are reversed, so I’m under her now. So those two came along and I’d like to think that’s been the most informative meeting they’ve had. Yeah.

Wife They’ve also had –

Patient’ Carers.

Wife The Carers UK. The local branch –

Oh right.

Wife – of Carers UK came and gave a talk, which amazed us at how much help is available for carers.

Yeah.

Wife And theres also been one for relaxation. What’s that called? To counteract the depressions that could come –

Patient’ Yeah.

Wife – positive thinking and –

Patient’ Yeah.

Wife – all that sort of thing.