So have you any message to give to people who’ve just been diagnosed with lung cancer?

Try and speak to someone who has had it. In my opinion they will be more help to you than the extreme help that you get from all the healthcare professionals. If you are able to speak to someone who has had the disease and got through it, however temporarily, I think it’s a great help to someone who is told, ‘You’ve got lung cancer’, and everybody is looking after you in the medical profession, you’re still feeling very down and think, that’s my death sentence. It’s a great help to speak to someone who’s gone through it.

So do you think it’s best to be open with children about things like this?

Yes, I think you’ve got to pick your child. I certainly wouldn’t like to think that my grandchildren were having nightmares about granddad having lung cancer. I think it’s better and I think children can accept that you have an illness. But whether they accept that it is going, that you are going to die. I mean they say, the little one said, “Are you going to die granddad?” and I said, “Oh heavens yes,” I said “everybody is going to die,” I said, “but I’m not thinking of going yet, certainly not till after your birthday,” and that was it, the subject was never mentioned again.

Well the two consultants were going to meet as I say New Year’s, Christmas Eve, between Christmas and New Year they were going to meet and discuss with I think a radiographer to see if they could get at this cancer which was in a very awkward place and they were going to, or they thought they’d be able to get at it from three different ways. But they would (laughs) let me know, so again I mean that was after the third day that will never die out of my memory the New Year’s Eve where I was left up in the air; am I going to get treatment? And then of course a week after I saw the consultant from the radiotherapy unit who came to [the local town] and said they’d had the meeting, they felt they could help. So that was great, and four weeks.

So now you’re still waiting now?

I’m still waiting. I’m not a happy person. Psychologically you prepare yourself for four weeks wait. You are very conscious of the fact that this damn thing is growing on my lung and it’s getting four weeks head start on any treatment, and when at the end of four weeks nothing happens it starts bringing all sorts of unpleasant memories back again. And I spoke to my GP, said, “What can I do?” rather naively because I don’t think theres anything I can do and he said, “Well I’ll see what I can do,” that was last Friday. Hes a good bloke, if he can help he will do. I realise my cancer is no more or less important than the next person, I feel that if I was going to wait six or seven weeks perhaps it would have been better had I been told rather than told four and it’s now getting towards six.

I mean even coming away from the supermarket theres a bit of a slope up on to the main street and I stand there and puff and blow like a bit of a whale and I say to people when I answer the phone, “Don’t think I’m doing heavy breathing I’m just, just gasping.” I have thirteen stairs to go up and quite frankly I wait until I have to go up to go to the toilet. At night I go up and get undressed and do my gasping and come down and then I go up again and go to the bathroom and get into bed and I gasp again and then it quietens down. And I’m propped up, which is a farce. My wife has brought a triangular pillow and I sit there in all my majesty and [my wife] says she wakes up in the night and I’m flat on my back, I’ve slithered down, but at least I start propped up which helps. Which makes me wonder why if I gasp when I lie down when I’m awake, why don’t I gasp when I’m asleep, and flat on my back? I honest don’t know the answer, perhaps everything is relaxed.

Have you been given any tips or suggestions from the nurse or the doctors how to manage the breathlessness?

No. My doctor gave me a spray when he thought it was angina, I’ve never, I’ve used it once, whether it was right or wrong I don’t know. And if this friend who rang up and had breast cancer said she went even more breathless when she was having the radiotherapy. At that stage I shall certainly ask for some help to see whether I can have something to free the airways but I certainly don’t want to get dependent on anything, if I can manage I will do.