Bobbi - Interview 30

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Bobbi and her husband have two sons, Jack aged 8 and Charlie aged 6. Bobbi is a retired make up artist who works as a part time administrator, her husband runs his own business.
When Charlie was about two years old he was very active and had problems going to sleep. His parents suspected he had ADHD but after reading about the condition on the internet, felt that it could be Asperger syndrome. Eventually, after considerable pushing by his mother, Charlie was referred to a specialist centre where autism spectrum disorder was diagnosed when he was 5 years old.
While Bobbi found it difficult to push for a diagnosis (and so get her concerns listened to), she describes how she and her husband felt “utter relief” to actually get the diagnosis. They felt that they were on the right track and had something to work with.
Charlie is now settled in a local primary school and statemented with twenty hours of one to one support a week. Bobbi describes him as a unique, funny, individual little boy who loves computer games, Spongebob, airplanes and playing with his brother.
Bobbi has found the hardest thing has been trying to make time for Jack, and the family will often split up in order to accommodate the different interests of the boys. She thinks it is very important to read as much as possible and to keep an open mind. She is worried about puberty and the future but she is also looking forward to what she describes as a “really cool ride” watching her children grow older.
Charlie
Charlie
Bobbi found the process of getting a diagnosis incredibly frustrating.
Bobbi found the process of getting a diagnosis incredibly frustrating.
Bobbi describes getting the diagnosis as light bulb moments going off all over the place.
Bobbi describes getting the diagnosis as light bulb moments going off all over the place.
Bobbi finds her sons bluntness refreshing and thinks he can get away with it while he is young.
Bobbi finds her sons bluntness refreshing and thinks he can get away with it while he is young.
Bobbi adapts the situation to Charlie rather than not going on holiday.
Bobbi adapts the situation to Charlie rather than not going on holiday.
Holidays we always have to make sure that they are family holidays now. There is no – and I mean Jack is at the age where if we wanted to do a sight seeing holiday or we wanted to do a sort of hiking or adventurous sort of holiday Jack would be up for that because he is of that age. Charlie no way. Unless it has got some sort of playground or some sort of space where he can let loose for a couple of hours every day it is really difficult. I mean he has gone… the first time we went on holiday with him which was an absolute nightmare was when we were in the middle of everything going off and he was probably about two years old and I went back to see my mum. And I didn’t realise at the time. I mean at the time we still thought he was hyperactive that is why I put up with so much during that holiday. I mean he really did. And I didn’t realise. There were so many changes, so many differences. Too many differences.
Bobbi has found not being able to do things as a family one of the hardest things to deal with.

Bobbi has found not being able to do things as a family one of the hardest things to deal with.
And you know I have to, we now make play dates for it is either just daddy and Jack or just mummy and Jack. And of course we do that anyway with Charlie because through whatever eventually happens, Charlie is eventually left with one of us. Jack wanted to go to the movies so it is daddy and Jack that had to go to the movies and mummy sits home with Charlie. So he is always with one of us if he is left obviously. But Jack doesn’t always get to have that one on one time, so we really, you know we have to try now to use our friends more to watch Charlie so that Jack gets the benefit of both his mum and dad actually going out with him too, you know, which he has not had in a while. And that is hard. You know that is probably the hardest part, you know, of doing things as a family. Other than you know getting time for me and David it is more imperative that Jack gets a bit more time with us too. And that has been hard.
Bobbi explained Charlies differences to his classmates while they were on a school trip.
Bobbi explained Charlies differences to his classmates while they were on a school trip.
Bobbi describes the statementing process as mind boggling but felt well supported by...
Bobbi describes the statementing process as mind boggling but felt well supported by...
Mind boggling. I mean because I am American anyway. And then David said to me, it doesn’t matter, he said he never was in the process of it. He looked at it and was ohhhh. And it was, it was scary. But you know I felt that it wasn’t too scary that I didn’t think I could handle it, we could handle it, or that we needed somebody to guide us through it. You know, when they asked us for our evidence that part where they say parental evidence, I think I gave them fifteen pages of typed, you know, I mean we were so on top of it by that point that even though it is difficult, even though it was slightly confusing in some places because at first I wasn’t sure whether or not they had the ability to pull him from the school. And that was something that I was really concerned about, because it really was important that he stayed at the school he was in. And I didn’t want them to say, well no, we judge that he is not going to get the support, he needs to go here. And when that didn’t happen it was much easier.