What did I do about them? Well, just tried to cool down by removing clothing, not too much. Taking a cardigan off or rolling sleeves up, opening windows if I was indoors. And going and standing outside sometimes just to cool down.

I did look at foods that were supposed to help you through menopause, I can’t remember any of them now but I think I just do eat them anyway. Broccoli springs to mind. I don’t even know if that is anything to do with menopause and being good for you. I really don’t know but I think I’ve improved a lot actually over the years but don’t know about it being anything to do with menopause but then maybe it is.

At the moment, my only symptoms are flushes. I do play quite a lot of sport. I play tennis and I think that helps quite a lot. I read a very good book by Miriam Stoppard about the menopause and she was quite keen on emphasising that diet and exercise were very important. So I’d say I have a good diet, balanced diet and I play a lot of sport and I think that’s helped a lot.

Yes, I mean at night I throw off the covers and I wear a cotton nightdress. In fact, they’re [hot flushes] not as bad as they were. I did have to at one point have a sort of flannel by the side of the bed just because I actually was perspiring so much but that’s not happening now. During the day, well maybe if I’m wearing a cardigan I just take it off but they’re actually very quick. I don’t really need to do that now.

I still keep to a low dose of calcium, magnesium and a very healthy diet, lots of veggies and things. I am scanned, I have a scan for osteoporosis every three years and I’ve actually had two so far and I am due another one. And there was a slight decrease on my last scan. From the hospitals point of view they would have wanted to have treated it but from my doctor’s point of view, she said You’re border line and keep to load bearing exercis. Which I do, hence the belly dancing. And also I’ve got a cross trainer and a bike at home which I’m not very good at, every now and then I think I need to do this and I will really kick myself into action and do it. But I do a lot of load bearing exercise before I go to bed at night, just for ten minutes just swinging my legs and my arms and moving my shoulders and moving my hips. Hopefully it’s doing a little bit of good. I do try and walk and we do try and go out on bike rides and keep healthy from that point view as well.

It was clear I was not having an easy ride with the menopause. Mine wasn’t going to take the standard oh well, up to two years. Mine was dragging on so I went back to the doctor. This time I found him a bit more receptive to other suggestions but that was because I sat down in the surgery and burst into tears. And I had read about clonidine being used for hot flushes and so he did agree that I could try that or he offered me Prozac. Now I was a bit surprised. I know that on certain doses some antidepressants are supposed to be able to help the menopause but I don’t really think it’s appropriate to have women going on Prozac when they’re not clinically depressed. I’m not sure there’s been enough research there for them to be so quick.

And I said, well, I’d try the clonidine but I wasn’t interested in the Prozac. I tried that low dose rising one tablet a week until I was up to the maximum of six and it did help during the day. From about 7.30 in the morning until about 4.30 I didn’t have any hot flushes. And then from 4.30 in the evening until right through the night I was back to having them on the hour every hour. So I’ve no idea. I think other things must come into play not just oestrogen and progesterone. There must be I don’t know chemicals or hormones that you make in the day or at night. There must be something else in there. Otherwise why would I every late afternoon and evening and night have flushes and then they’d stop in the morning. That was really weird but. So I did stay on that for about five months but it didn’t get any better in the evenings and I just had had enough. So back I went and said, I’m now desperate. I’ll go on HRT

And then with the citalopram treatment that sent my moods just haywire, and I felt frightened because at that point a couple of times I felt myself sitting in what should have been familiar environments like my sitting room, not feeling at home, and like things were out of perspective, and it was very frightening.

And you said the citalopram had an impact on your sex life. Can you talk a little bit more about that.

Yeah I’ll tell you about that because I would really like other women to, well I’d just like to share some of this really because I think on the packet, the information that comes with them, it talks about, I think it did actually mention, well there was something about sex life. But what it did to me was meant that I couldn’t have orgasm, and so it took a bit of, well, I worked this out after so maybe it’s two or three goes at sexual intercourse and I couldn’t come basically, so I went back to the GP and I saw the younger GP and he was fine about it, but it was as though, yes I remember him saying to me, Well this is unusua, so I thought well I wonder if it is actually, and I don’t know*.

Fair enough when I was on it, it improved my mood, it did. And if I’d have stayed on it, then I’d have been kind of like happy but you know I didn’t want that.

So I finished the citalopram because of the sexual side effects but there again I didn’t get advice about coming off it gradually so that was just horrible and scary because, I was only on about 20mg or something, but I finished straight away and it was very frightening, I did feel quite paranoid.

[* Note’ difficulty reaching orgasm (anorgasmia) can be a side-effect of citalopram]

Yes, the dryness and I can’t remember when we first noticed that. it’s probably about the time that I went on HRT I think but then that’s supposed to help I think isn’t it actually. So probably about four, no three years I should say that I’ve noticed that I’m much much drier.

Is that now or is it?

Yes, yes.

What since you gave up HRT?

Yes, I think I’m sure we noticed it while I was on HRT as well. But because it didn’t seem to make a lot of difference that wasn’t a reason to stay on HRT we felt.

And how did you overcome the problem?

Simple, KY Jelly. Yes. Just as simple as that and it’s just a routine now.

And I didn’t want to take, I couldn’t and didn’t want to take HRT with my mum’s breast, it was breast cancer in the family. I was concerned about HRT and I was never going to take it. So I was always interested in looking for other remedies so one thing that worked for me was the sage infusion. I forget the name of the product and it doesn’t matter but it’s a little sage infusion, so many drops in water and that alleviated it just for a short period of time for about three months. And then it came back but that actually helped. Menosan I think is the name of it but it’s a little sage infusion and I found that useful. I know that people who have taken the black cohosh it’s not such a good idea because it actually creates high blood pressure and things like that but so the Menosan, a wee bit of evening primrose oil, that type of thing. But at the end of the day, you just feel, I felt it was very much a natural, it is a natural process but it does get you down and there’s something about it that you know you have to embrace it and go with it. I think if you fight against it you probably, if you’re resisting it or thinking, Gosh, this is it’s just going with it and accepting it as a natural part of your womanhood and your stage in life.

So I moved on and had done some research about natural progesterone cream. So I was following a Doctor Lee’s theories. I don’t know if anybody has mentioned that but it’s about the imbalance between oestrogen and progesterone as opposed to being short of one and a little bit of the other so I think your adrenal glands take over producing oestrogen but you’ve got no progesterone so if you put some progesterone cream on that can help.

So I went back to the GP because I knew there is such a thing as progesterone cream but I think it’s very strong and they use it for infertile women. But I know somebody that gets it and breaks it up, cuts up the capsule, whatever it is and just rubs some on her skin. But my doctor wasn’t having any of that. No, that’s not what it’s for and you’re not having it and there’s no valid research to show that progesterone cream on its own will help anyway So he wouldn’t give me that and away I came empty handed again. So I bought it on the internet. You can get it in Guernsey or Jersey.