Yes, it was just odd to be handed a baby from the Caesarean, I found anyway. Whether it was just from the epidural or… I think it was the whole rushed thing, that it all… I just remember being rushed down the corridor, in there, these big green sheets up. Tugging and she’s born. And then I was handed her. And it just felt like she could have come from anywhere.
How long did that feeling last?
Well it’s so difficult because I was just so exhausted, so it took a while to recover from I suppose the anaemia. I could see straight away in fact when she was born, the consultant held her up and said “you’ve got a big bouncing…” and I thought he was going to say boy, and he said “girl”. Because she was a big girl and she looked exactly like her brother when he was born. So that’s how I knew she was mine.
Did she stay with you for the whole time after she was born, or did she go off to another part of the hospital?
No they did take her off actually and also at that time. Yes, I did feel a bit out of control. I should have insisted she stayed with me. They took them away at night which was why they were giving her bottle feeds, which I don’t think I was aware of for the first couple of nights. And I should have insisted which I think they do now, you keep the baby with you. I think I’d have found it better and I should have asked to have her
I guess when you’re not well…
I think that’s exactly what it was, yes, and you tend to listen to what people advise and they say its best for her and best for you, but I think I might have been better with her.