Janet
Janet was first diagnosed with depression after the birth of her first child when she was in her 20’s and has experienced low mood and bouts of severe depression almost continuously. Over the years she has tried a number of different antidepressant medicines and later in her life she was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and now takes mood stabilising medication, and antipsychotics as well as antidepressant medication.
Janet was first diagnosed with depression after the birth of her first child when she was 28 and was prescribed Valium (diazepam), which at the time was commonly given for problems with anxiety and depression. Janet has experienced depression for most of her life since that time. Over the years she has been prescribed a number of different antidepressants, including amitriptyline, dosulepin and lofepramine from the tricyclic group, and the SSRI paroxetine. Some years ago she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and since then has also taken mood stabilising medicines and antipsychotics in addition to antidepressants.
She [psychiatrist] put me on lithium and said I had manic depression, which is bipolar‚ and that it was a chemical and hormonal problem‚. [which seems to be] why I never seemed to get better, I was up and down such a lot’.
Janet’s experience of taking antidepressants has largely been of feeling dopey and tired’ and in combination with the mood stabilisers she takes says that she generally feels blank and numb.
[taking lithium] you don’t really feel anything, it stops you going high‚.. I felt it masked things, you know the edge was taken off, all the edges‚. It masks your emotions.
Janet feels that of all the antidepressants she has tried that Seroxat (paroxetine) was one she preferred, the SSRI seemed to suit me better, I just felt better on them generally’ although she says her mood has generally always been low despite taking medication. She took Seroxat (paroxetine) for some time, but when she recently began to feel severely depressed and very fearful and anxious, her psychiatrist changed her back onto lofepramine. She also takes a mood stabiliser [lithium] and an antipsychotic medicine [olanzapine] which have worked well to quell the fears that she was experiencing, although she finds that taking this combination of medicines leaves her feeling muddled and wooly headed’ a lot of the time. It can be difficult to separate out whether the effects can be attributed entirely or directly to the antidepressant, or whether it is the combination of other medicines. She currently has to have her blood levels monitored closely to ensure calcium levels do not reach dangerous levels, as taking lithium may have caused a problem with her parathyroid gland.
Over the years Janet has tried talking therapies and seen a number of psychiatrists but she has not felt that these have helped. As she has become older she feels less hopeful of recovery’ and is resigned to feeling depressed and to continue taking medication for the rest of her life. Janet would like to be more involved with discussions and decisions about her treatment but finds it hard to speak out.
I don’t like to rock the boat‚. If I question her [psychiatrist] about what she’s doing I feel it’s rocking the boat and that I should accept what she says.
Janet also takes other medicines for other conditions; osteoporosis, a parathyroid condition, and sometimes has to take others to counteract side effects such as constipation or diarrhea.
Janet is tired and weary of all the changes that have been made to her medication over the years and finds it frustrating that she lacks energy and motivation they deaden me’ but feels that on the whole she is better off taking antidepressants and the other medication she has been prescribed than not.
It’s better to have them than not have them. I mean I may grumble about not feeling very bright and alert but I know they probably do me more good and I would be worse if I didn’t have them’.