
Growing up
Puberty
Most parents whose children had gone through puberty said that it was straightforward. As one mother said about her son; “He went through puberty smoothly. He is very quiet, very private.” Another mother said that “sexuality is no different in Asperger's than in anybody else. They get the same urges, and the same desires. The fact that they are autistic makes no difference. The difference is how they handle it.” Parents of daughters on the spectrum talked about how their children found periods difficult to cope with; in some cases this was linked to hygiene issues (see 'Self help skills').
- Age at interview:
- 40
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Tracy, a school assistant, and her husband have one daughter aged 19. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Most parents with younger children were worried about how puberty would affect their child/ren. They thought that their children would not cope well with the emotional and physical changes; some worried that their child might behave inappropriately.
- Age at interview:
- 38
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Sandy, 38, lives with her two sons and is a full time carer. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
- Age at interview:
- 45
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Liz, 45, lives with her husband, a chicken farmer, and two of her three sons. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Another mother described how she had got a work book from the National Autistic Society and she will go through that with her son. A few mothers commented along the lines of “that is really where a dad has got to come in and do the fatherly bit”.
- Age at interview:
- 42
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Rachel, a former social worker, is now a full time carer and lives with her husband and two sons aged 9 and 6.
- Age at interview:
- 38
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Bobbi, a part time administrator, and her husband have two children; Jack aged 8 and Charlie aged 6. Ethnic background/nationality: White American.
One mother said of her two sons who are both on the spectrum: “I know he does like one particular girl but it’s all very secret squirrel nonsense … whereas his brother has had about three that he has chucked already, you know”. Another mother said that her son was a good looking boy and “whoever he falls for, I hope it will be reciprocated…I just hope they will be patient”.
Transition to adulthood
For those parents whose children had made the transition to adulthood, the experience was largely negative. They talked about support dropping off when the children became adults and how fighting for services and support for their children continued into adulthood. Some parents described how there has been little focus on what will happen to the children on the spectrum when they grow up and this has left their children “floundering”.
- Age at interview:
- 40
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Tracy, a school assistant, and her husband have one daughter aged 19. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Jacqui, a full time carer, lives with her seven children aged between 23 and 10. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Of the parents we interviewed whose children were aged 16 and over, three children were at colleges (either specialist colleges or colleges of further education), four were living at home and not working (one of whom was in the process of arranging appropriate support to start a university course) and one person was living independently in a flat close to her parents' home but had no paid job.
- Age at interview:
- 66
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Diana, a retired nurse, and her husband have four children aged 42, 40, 37 and 28. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Many parents whose children were younger worried about the future ( see ‘Thinking ahead’ and ‘Effect on parents; worrying about the future’).
We have interviewed a number of adults who are on the autism spectrum and their experiences are outlined in our section Life on the Autism Spectrum.

Last reviewed July 2017.
Last updated November 2010.